Deep in the recesses of a blank mind...

A Clown's Smile

2010-10-02T04:34:00.004+08:00

I paint through my words,

I put colors through my rhyme,

Like the stars do to the night sky,

I could give you a piece of me

Each time I write.

Passion, dedication, blood, and love,

This is how art come into life

Dreams, tears, wounds, and scars,

This is how my words come into life.

I have a lot in my mind,

But my hands can’t cope up,

Words are jumbled inside my head,

Words that fuels my existence...

Can you feel my pain?

Are my tears of someone’s gain?

I never knew why I did what I did

I guess that’s why they tell me

You cannot choose whom you will fall in love with...

Slowly, the image of your face, your smile

Is fading in my memories

Does it mean I’m starting forget the feeling

I feel whenever you smile

Or the hurt I feel whenever I wish you are mine.

I want to forget the things I remember

And remember the things I forgot.

I want to remember the sound of your voice

And the touch of your hand

But I want to forget the feelings I have.

Memories are tricky things

To a mind that is confused

They are too unkind

To heart that longs

For that hand that hold another hand

Not mine.

I can’t breathe, I can’t cry

There are no more tears to dry

They went with the air I breathe

The day I lied

This kind of love is destroying me

Breaking my soul piece by piece

Day by day

I have to stop this, but how can I

When I still long for you to say hi...

There's somewhere I wanna go...

2010-09-19T16:21:00.008+08:00

I want to say something but I dont know how to start.

I want to go somewhere but I don't know how to fly.

I want to smile but I started to cry...

Epiphany-Staind

2010-09-18T07:01:00.002+08:00

e·piph·a·ny (-pf-n) NOUN: A sudden manifestation of the essence or meaning of something...

I woke up after a couple hours of sleep, feeling like crap. And I wasn't satisfied with this, I started to play this song over and over again. Now, I feel crappier than before...

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES

2009-05-29T12:10:00.000+08:00

Grudges have been the bane of my existence because I have this weird type of memory that I can remember things very clearly even if they happened 20+ years ago. Having this type of memory is very difficult because even the slightest details of some conflicts, some arguments that I’ve been through are very clear in my mind.

This makes it very difficult to me to forgive and forget, especially the forgetting part. Whenever some flashbacks come into mind for some reason, it still pinches me in a slightly stinging way that it makes me hate myself for being weak and gullible.

Then one solution came into mind while I was reading a blog of one person that I really admire, who is a now born-again Christian who is not embarrassed to show his faith in ways that most of us ridicule. It was as simple as this:

LOVE YOUR ENEMIES

Yes, it is simple as that but very difficult to do. I never been the kind of a religious person. I consider myself a spiritual person. I consider myself as a devout Catholic, but I do not do things that most Catholics do. I rarely go to novenas, pray the rosary, or go to pilgrimages. I also do not believe in religious images, but I do believe on the cross with no Christ hanging on the said cross because I believe in the Risen Christ. I also go Bible studies sponsored by other sects of the Christian faith. But if they start saying negative things against other religions or other Christian sects, I’m out of there in a blink. I can’t stand those kind of “paninira”. I don’t focus on the differences among religions, I focus more on the similarities. The strength of my faith is based on these similarities. This is why I say that I’m Christian who is spiritual, not a religious one.

But then, I can say that I’m a hypocrite because I can’t do the simple commandment of Jesus which is Love your neigbors, as you love yourself. How can I, when those neighbors are those I consider my enemies, the people who took advantage of my weaknesses, those who really left me emotional and psychological scars. On the other hand, it is also my fault of being too trusting, too gullible to believe that they are my good neighbors. I also tell my that those things never happened if I never let them be.

Maybe, I should first stop blaming myself and forgive myself for being weak, and also start loving myself, and perhaps someday, I can truly say that I can forgive and forget.

Me and my mashed boiled kamote

2009-05-16T20:56:00.013+08:00

Whoever said that kamote will only give you gas and nothing else is a big, fat liar.

How can I be sure about this? Well, I had an epiphanic momentwhile I was eating mashed boiled kamote (or sweet potato if you don't know what kamote is), I was cracking-up while watching some program on the Internet, which I do for these past days.

What have I realized after my epiphanic moment: I am terrified of tall and buff people! I really am!

And yes, I'm the master of multitasking. I can do things all at the same time. i.e. eating, cracking-up, watching , and have epiphanic moments.

Back to my new found fear. Whenever I see them, I have this urge to run and hide especially when I see their large hands that could crush my head or cut my head-off in one swipe. I can deal with guys who are taller than me but people who are more than 6 feet in height and really buff, they really terrify me.

Maybe you're wondering why in the hell I'm eating boiled kamote?

The answer is simple: spur of the moment. And also besides the fact that I don't like eating bread at the moment as well as any junk food, and I'm too lazy to bake anything.

Why kamote? Why not potato? Potato is too bland for my taste, and I'm stingy, I chose sweet potato which is much cheaper that potato.

What is the point of my blog?

- I have no idea...

the zen of one bowl of sweet kamote

Update on my to-do list before the big 3-0:

Have my own driver's license
Remember the spelling of LICENSE
Get rid of urge of having a tattoo on a place that nobody wants to see: my log of a leg
Buy Bob Ong's book: Kapitan Sino

To my friend Tin, who commented on my same blog in friendster: Sister,yes, I know how spell stilettos, but still I can't bring myself to wear them.

Why?

I'm afraid of heights
I don't have the confidence to stand on those very thin thingies
I'm afraid I could twist my ankle and crack me head.

Give me those chunky heeled boots, no matter how high they are, I'll wear them anytime, anywhere. I will suppress my fear of heights because I am more confident that they can support me more.

Okay, why do I fear something's gonna happen from what I have written?

Things to do before the big 3-0

2009-05-15T18:02:00.005+08:00

36 weeks.

It will be 36 weeks before I hit the big 3-0.

36 weeks = 252 days = 6,048 hours = 362,880 minutes =21,772,800 seconds

Well, as you can see, I’m not that anxious. That big number is just around the corner, and I’m not that anxious. Yeah, I just made those approximations by bringing out my fx-570W CASIO scientific calculator to make these calculations for fun. Yeah, I’m not that anxious, nor paranoid. No, I’m not paranoid.

What the F*ck! Of course, I’m paranoid!

3-0!

In human calendar, you’re considered ancient, especially if you’re a woman and still single. But as I sit here and rock my brain on what to write, and if R-O-C-K is the correct word to use, I’m consoling myself by saying, “Hey! According to some people, 30 is the new 20!”

Ha! Denial. Still in denial! I’m turning ancient in 21,772,800 seconds! (but these figures will be lesser by the time you read this.)

Well, anyway. Last night, as I allow myself ito wallow in self-pity, I decided to list down some of the things I would like to do before that fateful day.

Learn to accept that the orange colour is part of the rainbow. It was not placed there to annoy the hell out of me. It was there since the beginning of time.
Learn to play the guitar for the nth time.
Hunt and save some centavos to buy my own guitar.
Learn to look down at the ground when walking to look for those centavos.
Learn how to drive a car.
Learn how to ride a bike.
Learn the difference between the two.
Learn how to speak Japanese. I’m sick of reading the subtitles of those animes I love to watch. (Ha! anime?! Japanese soap operas kunam ah!)
Learn how to speak Korean. Same reason as above.
Learn to write in Japanese, Korean, and Chinese to make a very special instructor proud eventhough he’s not around anymore. This is my tribute to him.
Learn to accept that stilletos were not made to torture the female population, nor can be used as a weapon.
Learn the correct spelling of STILETTOS.
Start to write more legibly. This will guarantee a smoother relationship between my mom and my handwriting. She always hated it.
Learn to accept that everything is possible but not everything that can be done is right.
Learn to control unnecessary reactions when you see people resembling a walking stick yet feel that they are the shit. Those reactions include uncontrollable giggles or cracking-up in a bad way which can cause collapsed lungs.
Learn that daydreaming can be good if you’re trying to write a literary piece but bad when you’re driving and think that you’re racing in the Grand Prix.
Also learn that daydreaming is bad when you’re having a conversation with someone then suddenly you spaced out, and ended saying “uh-huh” to a very ridiculous question
Learn to restrain self on asking if chinky-eyed people can still see when they smile. No offense but I love their eyes when they smile. Wheew! Be still my heart!
Learn to accept that my age is still in the calendar for most of the months except February, as well as in the LOTTO and BINGO game.
Proclaim to the whole world that the song entitled “500 Miles” by The Proclaimers is the best love song ever.
Always check if my fly is open before going out of my cave of a room to avoid further embarrassments.
Learn to accept the fact that there can be a very small chance that I can do these all in time but still try to be as optimistic as I possibly can.
Learn to accept that this list can grow longer and longer and longer as the days go by because of new rediscoveries.
Learn that I can use “bullets” instead of “numbers” in making lists so that people will no have idea how many things are present in those said lists.
Last but not the least, get rid of my weird phobias or fears which are the following

fear of social climbers but are also acrophobic
fear of gold-diggers who are not miners
fear of backstabbers but fearful of blood
fear of people who are considered snakes but are not related to Zuma, Medusa, or Valentina
check out my bathroom stall vandalism in my profile in friendster for more of my phobias. Beware: they are written in Tagalog.

Mata ng Diyos by Wolfgang

2009-04-17T12:26:00.005+08:00

sa pag mulat ng aking mata
ako'y ginising ng ihip ng hangin
ang sikat ng araw, makulay

sa tabi ng ilog
parang may tumatawag, pabulong
ako'y lumapit sa puno'y may natanaw
dumilim ang araw

bumigat bigla ang aking dibdib
tibok ng puso'y bumilis
ako'y hindi mapakali, ako'y naduduwal
sa pagtitig ng kanyang mata
ako'y kanyang hinusgahan
ligaya kong naramdaman
binawi sa akin
at hindi ko maalala
kung saan galing ito
mga bahid ng dugong dumikit sa aking mga kuko

tumakbo, lumayo sa lugar na 'to
lalamunan ko'y tuyung-tuyo
tumakbo, lumayo sa pagtitig mo
sa mata ng Diyos

biglang umikot ang paningin
liwanag ng araw biglang dumilim
malambing na ihip ng hangin ngayon ay maitim
ako'y nawala sa aking sarili
pati ang lupa'y gumanti
bato, bundok at puno man
sumisigaw, sumisigaw...

at ngayon ko nakita
ang lahat ng kasalanan, tinaboy sa ulan
init at kamunduhan

tumakbo, lumayo sa lugar na 'to
lalamunan ko'y tuyung-tuyo
tumakbo, lumayo at magtago
sa mata ng Diyos

mata ng Diyos...

inalok ako ng isang ahas
pula't matamis na mansanas
pilit ko man hindi makaiwas
sa mata ng Diyos

***nothing beats old school hehehe! this is one of my favorite songs back in highschool. I found it in my archives. there's nothing to do this boring summer***

sila nga ba?

2009-03-06T21:16:00.009+08:00

Ang kabataan ay ang pag-asa ng bayan. Ito ay ang mga ilan sa katagang ibinahagi ni Gat Jose Rizal sa atin. Pero sila nga ba?

Ang sagot: oo. Sila nga, kung hindi, sino na ang magpapabago sa nakalugmok nating lipunan?

Ang mga kabataan ngayon ay di sila bobo, di sila mangmang, ignorante, di sila tanga. Pero kung minsan, nagagamit sila sa mga mapaglinlang na pag-iisip at ginagamit upang makamit ang ninanais na bagong lipunan.

Sa taong kong ginugol sa mundong ito, pare-pareho ang problema pero di nasasagot sapagkat pare-pareho ang ginagawang solusyon upang maresolba ang mga problemang ito. Ang problema sa mga paraan ito, di naayos noon ang mga problema, paano nating masasabing maayos ng mga paraang ito angmga problemang noon pa ay nagpapagulo sa bayan natin?

Ang mga kabataan ngayon ay mas mulat sa mga kaguluhang ito kaysa sa ibang nakakatanda sa kanila na nagmamaang-maangan, nagbubulagbulagan para sa pansariling interes. Bakit di natin sila tulungang ayusin ang bayan natin. Pagbukludin natin ang mga karunungang nakuha sa mga ating ninuno at ang mga makabagong kaisipan ng mga kabataan ngayon upang matapos na ang mga pahirap na ginagawa ng mga "marurunong" nating mga kababayan.

Di nila kasalanan na nawawala sila ng landas kung minsan. Mga bata sila na kailangan ng gabay, pero mga bata din sila na kailangang mamulat sa katotohanan ng buhay. Kasalanan natin na pinabayaan nating lumalala ang mga dating problemang sumisira sa kinabukasan at kaisipan nga mga kabataan ngayon. Hindi kasalanan ng ibang tao, di kasalanan ng bulok na sistema, kasalanan nating mas nakakaalam sa kanila at sa salot na sisira sa kanila kinabukasan nila.

Bakit?

Sapagkat alam nating malaki ang tsansa na mawala sila sa landas pero di tayo gumawa ng paraan upang maiwasan ang mga ito.

Ito ay opinion lang. Nasa sa inyo na kung sang-ayon kayo o hindi. Kung oo, salamat. Simulan na nating baguhin ang sistema. Kung hindi, ano na ang iyong ginagawa ngayon?

The Lucky One

2009-02-26T19:49:00.007+08:00

The world saw her dance with the music’s light,
The wind heard her sing the morning’s hymn,
The fireflies played with her in the shadows of the night,
The bats claimed she sees what we can’t in the dim.
She always talks to her reflection on the windows,
She’s someone we call a woman who lost her mind,
For in her head, she’s someone else’s widow,
But I think it’s the product of the world being too unkind.
We really don’t know what happened to her,
We just see her cry and laugh, laugh and cry,
Just being contented and finding joy in the bad weather,
But not knowing her, we can’t judge her on the questions of ‘why’.
Seeing her, I guess she’s one of the lucky ones of the crowd,
But hey! It’s just me thinking out loud.

* this was an original sonnet inspired by an entry in the CCA Arts Festival entitled "Tagpi"

One day I wrote her name upon the strand by Edmund Spenser

2009-02-08T09:41:00.003+08:00

One day I wrote her name upon the strand,

But came the waves and washed it away:

Again I wrote it with a second hand,

But came the tide, and made my pains his prey.

Vain man, said she, that dost in vain assay

A mortal thing so to immortalize!

For I myself shall like to this decay,

And eek my name be wiped out likewise.

Not so (quoth I), let baser things devise

To die in dust, but you shall live by fame:

My verse your virtues rare shall eternize,

And in the heavens write your glorious name;

Where, whenas death shall all the world subdue,

Our love shall live, and later life renew.

Someday...

2008-12-07T23:50:00.006+08:00

When I'm gone,

Will my words be heard?

Will my thoughts matter?

Or will my life be remembered?

Someday, these quesions will be answered

But when that time comes, I will never know

If my words were heard,

If my thoughts mattered,

Or if my life will be remembered

Because no one ever told me

When I was still around,

Waiting for the answers...

A tribute to a teacher who made a difference

2008-11-08T23:02:00.007+08:00

Before I leave, I would like to tell you something. Before Atty. Rolando Dela Cruz became a lawyer, always remember that he was an A.B. English graduate, and also had a minor in Philosophy. In the whole College of Human Sciences, only two courses matters, Philosophy and English. The greatest contribution of English is ARTICULATION, for without it, Humanity ceases to exist. What other course can give you the beauty of life? What other course can give you the beauty of poetry and of Shakespeare? None. So be proud to be an AB English major. And always remember that Atty. Rolando Dela Cruz is a proud graduate of A.B. English.

- Atty. Rolando Dela Cruz
A.B. English Graduate

Thank you, Victor, for posting the quote of Atty. Dela Cruz (The greatest contribution of English is ARTICULATION, for without it, Humanity ceases to exist.) I just added the other quotes that he said the last time we saw him inside the 4 walls of our classroom. Again, thank you.

Atty. Dela Cruz was one of the most brilliant minds that set foot in Saint Louis University. He served as a teacher for a quite number of years. And even though he had a very valid excuse not to attend his classes, he still went and gave all the best he could.

Why?

Because he want to prove something. And because of his attitude, I came to admire him. Yes, it is true that he had a very intimidating personality because of his vast knowledge about the subjects he taught, but he brought out the best in every one of his students. And whoever claims that he never learned a thing from Atty. Dela Cruz, must be executed on the spot. But hey, who am I to tell that? Maybe this stupid person was busy wetting of his pants because he is afraid to recite in one of Atty. Dela Cruz.

The last day of our regular classes in English 14 (Parliamentary Procedures), he shared his own quote that made me appreciate my course before leaving the classroom. This was after the whole class witness him struggle to catch his breath for about half-hour. He sat there in front of the class, at the teacher's table, with his hands cradling his forehead. The class was not aware that he was dying, that his cancer was already terminal and he was only counting the days, one at a time. But still, he came into our class every single meeting, and gave all what he has with a smile. When I came to know that his number of days was dwindling but still went to our class, and my admiration for him as a role model for instructors and teachers grew into an unimagined proportion. I am a type of person that is not easily impressed, but I was impressed and still impressed on his dedication to his chosen profession.

I plan to be an educator someday. I would like to share the passion of Atty. Dela Cruz whenever he teaches literature to his students, whenever he shares his knowledge about politics and about how to be a good parliamentarian. I will never be as good or as dedicated like him, but I will do my best to make the younger generations to love the beauty of literature.

And to Atty. Rolando Dela Cruz, may your soul now rest in peace. Thank you for sharing to us the reason why we should be proud to be AB English Major students. You really made a positive difference in our lives...

The Beauty of Death by Kahlil Gibran

2008-09-29T19:57:00.005+08:00

Part One - The Calling

Let me sleep, for my soul is intoxicated with love and Let me rest, for my spirit has had its bounty of days and nights;

Light the candles and burn the incense around my bed, and Scatter leaves of jasmine and roses over my body;

Embalm my hair with frankincense and sprinkle my feet with perfume, And read what the hand of Death has written on my forehead.

Let me rest in the arms of Slumber, for my open eyes are tired; Let the silver-stringed lyre quiver and soothe my spirit; Weave from the harp and lute a veil around my withering heart.

Sing of the past as you behold the dawn of hope in my eyes, for it’s magic meaning is a soft bed upon which my heart rests.

Dry your tears, my friends, and raise your heads as the flowers raise their crowns to greet the dawn.

Look at the bride of Death standing like a column of light Between my bed and the infinite; Hold your breath and listen with me to the beckoning rustle of Her white wings.

Come close and bid me farewell; touch my eyes with smiling lips. Let the children grasp my hands with soft and rosy fingers; Let the ages place their veined hands upon my head and bless me; Let the virgins come close and see the shadow of God in my eyes, And hear the echo of His will racing with my breath.

Part Two - The Ascending

I have passed a mountain peak and my soul is soaring in the firmament of complete and unbound freedom; I am far, far away, my companions, and the clouds are hiding the hills from my eyes.

The valleys are becoming flooded with an ocean of silence, and the hands of oblivion are engulfing the roads and the houses; The prairies and fields are disappearing behind a white spectre that looks like the spring cloud, yellow as the candlelight And red as the twilight.

The songs of the waves and the humns of the streams are scattered, and the voices of the throngs reduced to silence; and I can hear naught but the music of eternity in exact harmony with the spirit’s desires.

I am cloaked in full whiteness;

I am in comfort; I am in peace.

Part Three - The Remains

Unwrap me from this white linen shroud and clothe me with leaves of jasmine and lilies; Take my body from the ivory casket and let it rest upon pillows of orange blossoms.Lament me not, but sing songs of youth and joy; Shed not tears upon me, but sing of harvest and the winepress; Utter no sigh of agony, but draw upon my face with your finger the symbol of Love and Joy.

Disturb not the air’s tranquility with chanting and requiems, But let your hearts sing with me the song of Eternal Life; Mourn me not with apparel of black, But dress in color and rejoice with me; Talk not of my departure with sighs in your hearts; close Your eyes and you will see me with you forevermore.

Place me upon clusters of leaves and carry me upon your friendly shoulders and walk slowly to the deserted forest. Take me not to the crowded burying ground lest my slumber be disrupted by the rattling of bones and skulls. Carry me to the cypress woods and dig my grave where violets and poppies grow not in the other’s shadow; Let my grave be deep so that the flood will not carry my bones to the open valley; Let my grace be wide, so that the twilight shadows will come and sit by me.

Take from me all earthly raiment and place me deep in my Mother Earth; and place me with care upon my mother’s breast. Cover me with soft earth, and let each handful be mixed with seeds of jasmine, lilies and myrtle; and when they grow above me, and thrive on my body’s element they will breathe the fragrance of my heart into space; And reveal even to the sun the secret of my peace; And sail with the breeze and comfort the wayfarer.

Leave me then, friends -leave me and depart on mute feet, As the silence walks in the deserted valley; Leave me to God and disperse yourselves slowly, as the almond and apple blossoms disperse under the vibration of Nissan’s breeze. Go back to the joy of your dwellings and you will find there that which death cannot remove from you and me. Leave with place, for what you see here is far away in meaning from the earthly world. Leave me.

Pag-isipang mabuti...

2008-08-18T20:21:00.002+08:00

CREDENDA

Turn away from the crowd and its fruitless pursuit of fame and gold. Never look back as you close your door to the sorry tumult of greed and ambition. Wipe away your tears of failure and misfortune. Lay aside yor heavy load and rest until your heart is still.

Be at Peace. Already it is later than you think, for your earthly life, at best, is only the blink of any eye between two eternities.

Be Unafraid. Nothing here can harm you except yourself. Do that which you dread, and cherish those victories with pride. Concentrate your energy. To be everywhere is to be nowhere. Be jealous of your time, since it is your greatest treasure.

Reconsider your goals. Before you set your heart too much on anything, examine how happy they are who already possess what you desire.

Love your family and count your blessings. Reflect on how eagerly they would be sought if you did not have them.

Put aside your impossible dreams and complete the tasks at hand. No matter how distasteful. All great achievements came from working and waiting.

Be Patient. God's delays are never God's denials. Hold on. Hold Fast. Know that your paymaster is always near. What you sow, good or evil, that you will reap.

Never blame your conditions on others. You are what your choice alone. Learn to live to honest poverty, if you must and turn to more important matters, than transporting gold to your grave.

Never meet trouble halfway. Anxiety is the rust of life. When you add tomorrow's burden to today, their weight becomes unbearable. Avoid the mourner's bench and give thanks instead, for your defeats, you would not receive them if you did not need them.

Always learn from others. He who teaches himself has a fool for a master.

Be careful. Do not overload your conscience. Conduct your life as if it were spent in an arena of talents. Avoid boasting. If you see anything that puffs you with pride, look closer and you will find more than enough to make you humble.

Be wise. Realize that all men are not created equal for there is no equality in nature. Yet no man was ever born whose work was not born with him. Work everyday as if it were your first, yet tenderly treat the lives you touch as if they will end at midnight.

Love everyone, even those who deny you for hate is a luxury you can't afford. Seek out those in need.

Learn that he who delivers with one head will always gather in two.
Be of good cheer.

Above all, remember that very little is needed to make a happy life.

Look up, reach out. Cling simply to God and journey quietly on our pathway to forever with charity and a smile.

When you depart it will be said by all that your legacy was a better world than the one you found.

- From The Gift of Acabar by Og Mandino and Buddy Kane

Sonnet XVII

2008-08-07T18:57:00.002+08:00

Sonnet XVII

Pablo Neruda

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose, or topaz,

or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.

I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,

in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms

but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;

thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,

risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where.

I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;

so I love you because I know no other way than this:

where I does not exist, nor you,

so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,

so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

(Popularized in the movie Patch Adams)

alone in the hallway

2008-07-03T08:48:00.002+08:00

Look at me with recognition in your eyes.

I'm not a stranger.

I'm your child...

"And She Was Gone"

2008-06-21T18:30:00.003+08:00

"And She Was Gone"

By Ginger Foutley from the season 3 episode

She chose to walk alone

Though others wondered why

Refused to look before her,

Kept eyes cast upwards,

Towards the sky.

She didn't have companions

No need for earthly things.

Only wanted freedom,

From what she felt were

Puppet strings.

She longed to be a bird.

That she might fly away.

She pitied every blade of grass

For planted they would stay.

She longed to be a flame,

That brightly danced alone.

Felt jealous of the steam

That made the air its only home.

Some say she wished too hard.

Some say she wished too long.

But we awoke one autumn day

To find that she was gone.

Some say she wished too hard.S

ome say she wished too long.

But we awoke one autumn day

To find that she was gone.

The trees, they say stood witness.

The sky refused to tell.

But someone who had seen it said

The story played out well.

She spread her arms out wide.

Breathed in the break of dawn.

She just let go of all she held...

And then she was gone.

Check out my Slide Show!

2008-03-26T13:53:00.001+08:00

"Battle" - COLBIE CAILLAT

2008-03-03T20:14:00.000+08:00

You thought we'd be fine
All these years gone by
Now your askin me to listen
Well then tell me bout everything
No lies we're loosin time

Cause this is a battle
And its your final last call
It was a trial, you made a mistake, we know
But why arent you sorry, why arent you sorry, why?
This can be better, you used to be happy, try!

Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

You've got them on your side
And they wont change their minds
Now its over
And im feelin like we've missed out on everything
I just hope its worth the fight

Cause this is a battle
And its your final last call (Why'd you have to let it go)
It was a trial, you made a mistake, we know (cant you see you hurt me soo)
But why arent you sorry, why arent you sorry, why?
Things could be better, you can be happy, try!

Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Cause this is a battle
And its your final last call....
It was a trial, you made a mistake, we know(cant you see you hurt me so)
But why arent you sorry, why arent you sorry, why?
This can be better, we can be happy, try!

Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

This is a battle
This is a battle

Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

This your final last call

Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

This is a battle
This is a battle

Ooooooooooooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

And its your final last call

This is a battle and its your final last call

Magandang Umaga...

2008-02-24T20:00:00.005+08:00

Lalaking nakatingala sa langit habang nasa gilid ng kalsada

Babaeng nakayukong naglalakad

Dalawang tao, dalawang mundo, iisang lugar

Tadhana ang nagtakda upang sila'y magkita

Pero nakalagpas na ang babae sa kinatatayuan ng lalake

Ang lalake naman ay sumakay na sa bus

Natigilan ang dalawa ng mapansin ang pabango ng isa't isa

Ngunit huli na, tumatakbo na ang bus

Hinabol ng tingin nang babae nag papalayong bus

Ang lalake naman ay nakalingon lang

At di inalis ang tingin sa mukha ng babae

Hanggang sa 'di na niya makita ito

Bukas, magkikita pa kaya ulit sila?

Lalaking nakatingala sa langit habang nasa gilid ng kalsada
Babaeng nakayukong naglalakad
Dalawang tao, dalawang mundo, iisang lugar
Tadhana ang nagtakda upang sila'y magkita

Sana ngayon, magkausap na sila

At totoo nga, ang tadhana ay nakakatuwa

Sapagkat sila ngayo'y magkilala

At nagsimula sa mga salitang "Magandang Umaga..."

Older by Colbie Caillat

2008-01-29T18:20:00.008+08:00

Waited all my life for this day to come
I feel like letting go, life goes on
Wasting no more timeSo much to be done
Everything works out
So they say
Over my shoulder, it's tough getting older
Yeah, yeah.......

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

Here before my eyes, many roads ahead
Time for me to choose one way nowIf I take a chance
What lies down the road
Feeling so confused, turned round
On and on, on and onyeah yeah.....

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older

Waited all my life for this day to come
I feel like letting go, life goes on
Over my shoulder (on and on)
It's tough getting older (on and on, on)
Yeah, yeah.....

Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older
I always thought that I knew where I'd want to go
Now I'm here and I find that I'm still getting colder
It's kinda tough getting older
Seems like nothing is black and white anymore
Shades of grey and I feel a weight over my shoulder
It's tough getting older

5 years

2007-11-13T16:50:00.001+08:00

Isa sa mga pabrito kong kanta nung highschool. Simple pero may dating...

Kumbento...

2007-10-05T12:23:00.000+08:00

May mga oras na naiisisp kong lumayo, magtago, at lunurin lahat ng problema sa pamamagitan ng pagiging mag-isa. Lalo na nung nakaraang buwan, depresyon ang kasama kahit saan magpunta. Natatahimik lang ang isipan sa loob ng simbahan o kaya sa munting kapilya ng aming unibersidad. Pero sa katahimikan ng gabi, naiisip ang mga bagay-bagay na di dapat isipin. Sa isip ko, wala rin lang silbi ang huminga ng walang dahilan. Ang mga taong iyong inaasahan na dadamay sa iyo, sila ang lumalayo. Sila ang nagsabi, nag-aalala kami sa iyo kasi di ka nagsasabi ng problema mo, dito lang kami, sabihin mo ang problema mo. At nung kailangan mo sila sabihan ka pa nang: Lahat naman ng tao may problema, di lang ikaw ang may problema. (Narinig ko rin yan sa pelikulang "I'm Falling" nina Kim at Gerard.) Ang mga taong di dapat manakit sa iyo, silang ang dahilan kung bakit gusto mong lumayo at mawala na ng tuluyan. Kung minsan gusto ko ng sumuko, bumigay sa drama ng pagiging mag-isa. Alam ko mababaw sa iba ang mga ganitong sitwasyon. Yun din ang nasa isip ko nung di ko naranasan ang maisan tabi pagtapos gamitin ang mga salitang "kaibigan kita, di kita iiwan." Pero ayun ang nangyari, sinadya man o di sinadya, nangyari yun. Isang hibla na lang ng pag-asa ang hinahawakan para di mahulog, pero naputol pa. Di ako bumitaw. Nahulog ako ng tuluyan sa depresyon at gustong-gusto ko nang sumuko. Nasa kamay ko pa rin ang hibla na nagpapatunay na kahit papaano, di ako naging mag-isa sa isang kabanata ng aking buhay. Pero ang hiblang yun ay unti-unting nagiging abo sa bawat araw na lumilipas na may nalalaman akong panibagong kasinungalingan o isang katotohanang ikinubli sa akin. At kung madudugtungan pa man ito, may lamat na. Di na maibabalik ng tulad ng dati.

Iba pala pag ikaw na mismo ang nakakaranas ng depresyon. At masasabi kong mahirap. Napakahirap umasa na naman, ng magtiwala ulit sa ibang tao at magtiwala sa sarili mismo. Bawat araw, umiiyak ng tahimik sa anino ng kadiliman ng gabi. Kunting bagay lang, napakabigat na para sa akin. Wala na akong maintindihan, nalilito na ako, at nagtatanong, ano nang susunod para sa akin, kawalan?

Pero sa awa ng Diyos, lumipas din yun. Namulat din ako na di ako mag-isa. Nalinawan ang pag-iisip ko sa loob ng simbahan, sa gitna ng sermon ng pari. Tumingin ako sa aking magulang at sa huli, naiisip ko, "Di mo dapat gawin yan. Ang buhay mo ay di talagang iyo. Hiniram mo lang yan. At kung wala ka nang maisip na dahilan upang huminga, tumingin ka sa paligid mo. Nandiyan pa ang pamilya mo na kung minsan may pagkukulang sa iyo pero walang silbi yun kung ikukumpara mo sa mga pagkakataong nanadiyan sila para sa iyo. Nandiyan pa naman SIYA para gabayan ka." At parang sinadya, ang kapatid kong nasa Maynila ay nagpadala ng mensahe na nagsasabing:

Whenever you don't understand what's happening in your life, you just have to close your eyes, take a deep breath and say, "Lord, I know it's Your plan, I put my trust in Your hand..."

Napaluha ako at nasambit ang salamat po sa mga taong nakapaligid sa akin. Mula noon, pinag-iisipan ko na kung paano ko Siya pagsisilbihan. At sa sumunod na linggo, pumunta kami sa Angin, La Union para bisitahin ang pinsan ng aking tatay na isang madre. Nung nagkaharap kami, di ako makatingin ng diretso sa kanya. Naramdaman niya siguro ang magulo kong utak at mabigat na dinadala, at nagtanong kung gusto kong sumama sa kanilang kongregasyon. Natahimik ang mga magulang ko, at sumagot ako na di ko sinasara ang pintuan ng posibildad na ako ay matulad sa kanya, isang madre na iniwan ang lahat ng material na bagay, "earthly possesions" 'ika nga. Naramdaman siguro niya na kailangan ko ng gabay, gabay na di maibibigay ng tao sa akin. Isang gabay na matatagpuan sa loob ng kumbento. Nalaman kong may pagkakawangis ng aming pananaw sa buhay, ang mga tanong na di masasagot agad, ang mga nararamdaman, pero sa kanya, naramdaman niya na may kulang sa buhay nya. Ako, naghahanap ng lugar kung saan di na ako masasaktan.

Nagpaalam kami sa kanya pagkatapos ng ilang oras na kuwentuhan. At nagbigay siya ng mga babasahin tungkol sa isang madre na naghahanap din sagot sa buhay. Pinahiram sa akin yun ng kura paroko nila. Nakuwento siguro ng auntie ko ang sitwasyon kong pinagdadaanan. Bago kami tuluyang umalis, nagbigay sya ng suhestiyon na magretreat ako sa kumbento ng kahit isang linggo lang at mula karanasang makukuha ko, doon ko ibabase ang magiging desisyon ko.

Sa biyahe naming pabalik sa Baguio, ayaw pag-usapan ng mga magulang ko tungkol sa pinag-usapan namin ni Auntie Lilibeth. Ako naman tahimik na nag-iisip. Habang pingmamasadan ko ang mga pabago-bagong tanawin mula sa bintana ng sasakyan, nakapagdesisyon akong papasok sa kumbento pagkatapos ko ng aking pag-aaral. Gusto ko kasing magturo sa mga bata bilang isang misyonaryo pagkatapos ng pamamalagi sa kumbento. Nang talagang determindao na akong sabihin sa mga magulang nung oras na yun, may parang bumulong na huwag. Mas produktibo akong maglingkod sa labas ng kumbento. At naiisp ko ring di naman "fair" sa Kanya kasi gagamitin ko lang ang bokasyon ko para takbuhan ang lahat ng problema ko, lahat ng mga pagkukulang, lahat ng pasakit, lahat ng "insecurities" ko. At gusto ko ring magkaroon ng sariling pamilya. Gusto ko ring makita ang kagandahan ng pag-ibig ng isang tao sa kaniyang kabiyak at sa kanyang anak. Kaya, ang aking pagnanasang maglingkod sa Kanya bilang isang madre ay nawala.

Ngayon, pagod na akong nakayuko. Sinisimulan ko nang mas panindigan ang mga desisyon na ginagawa, nagsasabi kung nasaktan ako at di ko na kinukubli ang mga nararamdaman. Pagod na akong nakayuko. Nagbago na ako. Naging matigas na ako sa mga desisyon na ginagawa. Masaktan na ang masaktan, ayoko nang magkunwari.. Ayoko ko nang nakayuko. Nakapagod ang pagsamantalahan ang pagtitiwalang binigay sa mga taong di naman pala dapat pagkatiwalaan. Pagod na akong umasa sa mga binitawang pangako ng mga taong wala rin palang isang salita. Kaya ko nang lumakad ng mag-isa. Ako na lang ang inaasahang kung tutulong sa akin kung ako ay madadapa. Alam kong maaasahan ko ang pamilya ko para sa suporta nila, at palagi silang nandiyan para tulungan ako, pero di ako dapat palaging umasa sa kanila. Tinuruan nila ako ng mabuti kung paano paninidigan ang lahat ng mga pangakong bibitawan. Tinuruan din ako ng buhay kung paano maging matatag. Kung maninibago ang mundo sa akin, tanggapin na lang nila na nagbago na ako. Di ako bato. Masasaktan pa rin ako pero mas alam ko na ang mg a gagawin ko kung saka-sakaling mangyari ulit yun. Maaasahan pa rin akong maging isang tunay na kaibigan pero pag ako ang sinaktan pasensyahan na lang, sila ang nawalan. Mabubuhay na ako ng wala sila. Pagod na akong umasa. Kailangan ko nang tumayo mag-isa.

Dr. Appointment

2007-09-26T13:22:00.000+08:00

It was a busy morning, approximately 8:30 a.m., when an elderly gentleman in his 80s, arrived to have stitches removed from his thumb. He stated that he was in a hurry as he had an appointment at 9:00 am.

I took his vital signs and had him take a seat, knowing it would be over an hour before someone would to able to see him. I saw him looking at his watch and decided, since I was not busy with another patient, I would evaluate his wound.

On examination, it was well healed, so I talked to one of the doctors, got the needed supplies to remove his sutures and redress his wound.

While taking care of his wound, we began to engage in conversation. I asked him if he had another doctor's appointment this morning, as he was in such a hurry. The gentleman told me no, that he needed to go to the nursing home to eat breakfast with his wife.

I then inquired as to her health. He told me that she had been there for a while and that she was a victim of Alzheimer's disease. As we talked, I asked if she would be upset if he was a bit late. He replied that she no longer knew who he was, that she had not recognized him in five years now.

I was surprised, and asked him, "And you still go every morning, even though she doesn't know who you are?"

He smiled as he patted my hand and said, "She doesn't know me, but I still know who she is."

Apples and Wine

2007-09-26T13:13:00.000+08:00

Women are like apples on trees. The best ones are at the top of the tree. Most men don't want to reach for the good ones because they are afraid of falling and getting hurt. Instead, they sometimes take the apples from the ground that aren't as good, but easy. The apples at the top think something is wrong with them, when in reality, they're amazing. They just have to wait for the right man to come along, the one who is brave enough to climb all the way to the top of the tree.

Now Men... Men are like a fine wine They begin as grapes, and it's up to women to stomp the shit out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.

- www.dysan.net

true!!!! wehehehehe!!!

What is a Tragedy?

2007-09-26T12:27:00.000+08:00

The Reverends Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton, while visiting a primary school class, found themselves in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked both men if they would like to lead the discussion of the word "tragedy". So the illustrious Rev Jackson asks the class for an example of a "tragedy".

One little boy stood up and offered: "If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a runaway tractor comes along and knocks him dead, that would be a tragedy." No," says the Great Jesse Jackson, "that would be an accident."

A little girl raised her hand: "If a school bus carrying 50 children drove over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy." I'm afraid not," explains the exalted Reverend Al. "That's what we would call a great loss. " The room goes silent. No other children volunteered.

Reverend Al searches the room. "Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?" Finally at the back of the room little Johnny raises his hand. In a stern voice he says: "If a plane carrying the Reverends Jackson and Sharpton were struck by a missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy." Fantastic!" exclaims Jackson and Sharpton, "That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?"

"Well," says little Johnny, "because it sure as hell wouldn't be a great loss, and it probably wouldn't be an accident either!!!"

http://www.dysan.net/weird/show/690.html

hehehe! Ang galing!!! Wahahahahaha!

I miss the simple things...

2007-09-15T17:54:00.000+08:00

I miss being stupid and innocent...

I miss being trusting...

I miss running outside and feel the wind entwining with my hair...

I miss being too contended with life...

I miss having simple problems like what will be the game I'm playing with my friends...

I miss having people you can rely upon aside from your family...

I miss having people who knows what's the meaning of loyalty and honesty...

I miss having faith on people...

I miss having the hope for change...

I miss being not bitter towards life...

I miss the feeling of being not so hollow...

I miss having the simplicity of life of a child...

Witness of time..

2007-08-31T11:41:00.000+08:00

I've been standing her for quite sometime

Been so trusting to all who come to stay by my side

I've been scarred by others so many times

Yet I healed myself through time...

As I look down upon the young ones around me

I often wondered what I would be

Would I be as tall as the older ones and be a witness of time

Or be like the others that fell down due the harshness of life?

There are times that I think I want to give up

To give in to the blow of the wind

Yet I still stand and be one with the earth

For I chose to be one with time

And be the living witness of what we call life...

What is your f***ing problem?

2007-07-18T15:04:00.000+08:00

Just had this client that is, how can I describe the bastard, okay, down right rude. Well he is in my book, he is fucking rude. He just finished editing his PRC blah-blah that nursing students have to submit before graduation, I think. So, he came up to the counter and said, "Ate, log-out na at paprint." So I asked what is the file name of the word document that will be printed. I was able to locate it and printed it. It turned out that the fucking logo of his school was beyond the allowed margin of the printer. So, I tried to edit it, and he is always making this annoying noise with his tongue, that indicates he is getting impatient.

And then he whispered (but its not a whisper to me,mind you, cause I can hear it clearly) to his companion, "Bakit ito pwede?", then pointing to the already printed documents. I ignored it and tried to continue editing his document. He then slammed his file folder loudly and that made me see red.

"Sorry sir, kasi ung printer po nmin may sariling default margin." I answered ever politely, but inside I want to slam his head on the counter. Then I continued editing it, racking my head how to edit his cursed document. I thought it will never get worse, but it did. Well, that little bastard looks down on us, like were beneath him then he again said, "Ibaba mo na lang ito."

"Sir, ano po un?"he didn't answer so I repeated my question, "Ano ulit un, ADING?" I asked, with matching raised right eyebrow.

Then he answered, "Pakibaba na lang po ito, Ate."

There goes the "ATE" that I expect to hear from younger people. I really expect the younger generation, even from the older generation to be respectful to everyone , even if they are older. We will learn to be respectful from the generation before us, if they, themselves, are respectful.

I know I was being unreasonable and sensitive about our work as "just the people who are working in a computer shop". I don't want to flaunt to other people's faces that I am the co- owner of this shop, but sometimes people respects you when they you know you have money. But I rarely give in to the urge to be boastful so I just bit my retort, ad let them think I'm an employee. Let them swallow their boastfulness if they will learn the truth, in the right time. We serve people, but we are not slaves.

Yes, I know that customer is always right. But there are times that they are wrong. Like when they keep on insisting that they know what they are doing, even if it is clear as a sun shinny say that they are doing things the wrong way. We often offer our assistance but we are sometimes are shot down. So, we let them do what they want, and don't assist them once they refused our help. In the end, they are irritated because they cannot get the result they want. Then they complain to us that our computer doesn't work. That's when we come in and slap on their faces where they went wrong. But we do that subtly. We do the task as fast as we could so that they cannot follow what we are doing and let them figure it out how we did it by themselves. We don't give them the technique or procedure if they act like they don't fart like other people. They are more knowledgeable than us, right? I am aware that we don't know everything, but don't treat us as if we don't know what we are doing, that we are imbeciles in our line of work. Fuck them if they will do that! Who cares about them anyway? If they act they are superior than others, they'll always be losers in my Book of the Damned.

On the other hand, we don't have to look down on people who have jobs that are not that high earning. Take note, without them, our country will not function. Who will be responsible for the food we eat? Who will be the one to make sure that our roofs will not be blown by strong winds? Who will make sure that our establishment will be well guarded? Who will be the one who will make sure that the lobby of our buildings will be sparkling clean? Who will be the one who will make sure that our rest rooms will not stink as if skunks just had a fucking good time? Who will be the one who will make sure that we will be on time for our appointment by driving? They are the people with blue-collared jobs. Whether we admit it or not, they are the backbone of our economy. We may have the brains but we need muscles to get the work done.

Back to that fucking twit. I know he was getting impatient. But I did my best to edit his file. He then said that, "Di bale na lang. Di na ako magpapaprint. Magkano po? Di ko na po kukunin ung unang naprint." The fucking fuck? I was seeing blood red but I did my very best to stay calm. I keep on chanting, "Violence is not the answer. Violence is not the answer. Violence is not the answer. Violence is not the answer." So we just charged him with just the computer rentals and let him loose. I continued to edit his document and I got what he wants. He was impatient so he was forced to find a computer shop that will tolerate his attitude. If he waited for a minute, he will not have to find another computer shop. tsk! Tsk! Tsk! People these days...

Choices...

2007-07-17T18:33:00.000+08:00

Choices...

Every day we make them. Either to sleep for five minutes more or to get up immediately after the alarm clock screamed its fucking head off. To help your mom in making her workload lighter or, continue to be the bane of her existence. Either to walk away or not to walk away from a relationship that’s been falling apart since day one. Either to cry every time because we regret the choice we made, or to make the best out of it and go on with life.

When we choose the wrong choice, we blame it to someone. It’s either your parents were fucked up in the head and never taught you anything about life, or you never got the chance to better than what you are now. Fuck that! You saw what your parents did and they are living examples of what life can be if you follow their examples. It’s true that you are your father’s son, or mother's daughter, but still you have the brains that you can use to your advantage. You always have the choice to what life you want to live. If you made a mistake in the choice you made, suck it up. Pull yourself up and go on with life because you are only one that you can rely upon, the only one that who can help you. But then you also have the choice to sulk in one corner of the world and watch your life pass you by and in the end, live with so many what-if’s.

It’s true that we are humans; tend to make so many mistakes, tend to be weak. But don’t make that your fucking reason every time you fall down. We are also human who can make the best out of the foulest situation we are in. We are also human that have the wits to get up and go on. We are allowed to make mistakes so that we can learn from them. We are allowed to make mistakes to grow to be what we are meant to be. We are allowed to make mistakes to know our capabilities and to strengthen our weaknesses. But to make the same mistakes over and over and over again is just plain stupid.

I made a lot of mistakes; I have my fair share of scars. There are times that I tend to be resilient as I can, bend to extend I can feel my core crumble apart, sacrifice everything I can give that in the end there’s nothing left. I feel what I have is an empty shell. But still, I made those choices. Do I regret it? No, I don’t. Hell! If I regret every wrong choice I made, I’d be wallowing in self-pity. Instead, I made those wrong choices work my way and in the end, I realized that I made the right decision. If I choose the different one, then I’m not what I’m now. And I like what I am, thank you very much. Well, there are also perks of being an eccentric, opinionated geek that has an unusual perceptive of things around her…

We make choices everyday and we should be prepared of what they may bring. Every choice has its pleasant results and sometimes has it doesn't end up like we thought it would be. But either way, be prepared for the consequences they throw your way. Because that is life. It isn't fair, but it is most beautiful thing we can have. Why? Because we can experience anything from it. We may emerge from it, battered and bruised, but wiser. Well, that is if you have a OPTIMISTIC yet REALISTIC point of view. If you don't, then goodluck. You need that alot to survive your world of self-pity.

What is what...

2007-07-15T17:44:00.000+08:00

What is self preservation? Below is something what our beloved Wikipedia said about self preservation:

" Self preservation
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Self preservation is part of an animal's instinct that demands that the organism survives. Pain and fear are parts of this mechanism. Pain causes discomfort so that the organism is inclined to stop the pain. Fear causes the organism to seek safety and may cause a release of adrenaline which has the affect of increased strength and heightened senses such as hearing, smell, and sight.

Self preservation and morality
Many moral thinkers have made the human urge of self-preservation a foundation of their moral or political systems. Especially in the brand of social contract theory associated with Thomas Hobbes and John Locke, it is assumed that people form societies in order to better preserve themselves. This can be true of the average person under extreme circumstances such as starvation. In society, if one doesn't have the money to buy food, one might steal something to eat. This aspect could be
self-preservation because what is happening isn't socially acceptable but is understood because of the need to feed. "

Yeah. As if I understood that. For me self preservation is the instinct to save oneself. Actually not the self SELF, but the self I'm talking about is the soul, the spirit, the one that is left to roam around when we go "bye-bye, world".

As a sarcastic and cynical person, I tend to question the actions done by my "fellow human beings". I seem to have a feeling that people are doing "good" deeds just because it is the right thing to do. They do it just to have brownie points from the One above, so that they will have a place in the "ever after" when they die. They do these things, pretending to help their fellow human beings", but in the back of their minds: "Yes! another brownie point! For sure, I'll go to Heaven when I die!"

Well, people, that is what I call PRIDE. Remember, Pride is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Okay here the list:

Lust (Fornication, Perversion)

Lust is usually thought of as involving obsessive or excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature. Unfulfilled lusts sometimes lead to sexual or sociological compulsions and/or transgressions including (but obviously not limited to) sexual addiction, homosexuality, adultery, bestiality, and rape. Dante's criterion was "excessive love of others," which therefore rendered love and devotion to God as secondary. However, lust and love are two different things; while a genuine, selfless love can represent the highest degree of development and feeling of community with others in a human relationship, Lust can be described as the excessive desire for sexual release. The other person can be therefore seen as a "means to an end" for the fulfillment of the subject's desires, and becomes thus objectified in the process. In Purgatorio, the penitent walks within flames to purge himself of lustful/sexual thoughts.

Gluttony (Overindulgence, Waste)

Modern views identify Gluttony with an overindulgence of food and drink, though in the past any form of thoughtless excess could fall within the definition of this sin. Marked by unreasonable or unnecessary excess of consumption, Gluttony could also include certain forms of destructive behavior, especially for sport, or for its own sake. Substance abuse or binge drinking can be seen as examples of gluttony therefore, so it could be safely said that Gluttony is the overindulgence in any one thing. The penitents in the Purgatorio were forced to stand between two trees, unable to reach or eat the fruit hanging from either, and were thus described as having a starved appearance.

Sloth (Laziness, Sadness, Apathy)

More than other sins, the definition of Sloth has changed considerably since its original inclusion among the seven deadly sins. It had been in the early years of Christianity characterized by what modern writers would now describe as apathy, depression, and joylessness — the last being viewed as being a refusal to enjoy the goodness of God and the world He created. Originally, its place was fulfilled by two other aspects, Acedia and Sadness. The former described a spiritual apathy that affected the faithful by discouraging them from their religious work. Sadness (tristitia in Latin) described a feeling of dissatisfaction or discontent, which caused unhappiness with one's current situation. When St. Thomas Aquinas selected Acedia for his list, he described it as an "uneasiness of the mind," being a progenitor for lesser sins such as restlessness and instability. Dante refined this definition further, describing Sloth as being the "failure to love God with all one's heart, all one's mind and all one's soul." He also described it as the middle sin, and as such was the only sin characterised by an absence or insufficiency of love. In his Purgatorio, the slothful penitents were made to run continuously at top speed.

The modern view of the vice, as highlighted by its contrary virtue zeal/diligence, is that it represents the failure to utilize one's talents and gifts. For example, a student who does not work beyond what is required (and thus fails to achieve his or her full potential) could be labelled 'slothful'.

Current interpretations are therefore much less stringent and comprehensive than they were in medieval times, and portray Sloth as being more simply a sin of laziness, of an unwillingness to act, an unwillingness to care (rather than a failure to love God and His works). For this reason Sloth is now often seen as being considerably less serious than the other sins.

Greed (Covetousness, Treachery)

Greed is, like Lust and Gluttony, a sin of excess. However, Greed (as seen by the Church) applied to the acquisition of wealth in particular. Thomas Aquinas wrote that Greed was "a sin against God, just as all mortal sins, in as much as man condemns things eternal for the sake of temporal things." In Dante's Purgatory, the penitents were bound and laid face down on the ground for having concentrated too much on earthly thoughts. "Avarice" is more of a blanket term that can describe many other examples of sinful behavior. These include disloyalty, deliberate betrayal, or treason, especially for personal gain, for example through bribery. Scavenging and hoarding of materials or objects, theft and robbery, especially by means of violence, trickery, or manipulation of authority are all actions that may be inspired by greed. Such misdeeds can include Simony, where one profits from soliciting goods within the actual confines of a church.

Wrath (Anger, Hatred, Rage, Assault, Violence, Prejudice, Discrimination)

Wrath may be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger. These feelings can manifest as vehement denial of the truth, both to others and in the form of self-denial, impatience with the procedure of law, and the desire to seek revenge outside of the workings of the justice system (such as engaging in vigilantism) and generally wishing to do evil or harm to others. The transgressions borne of vengence are among the most serious, including murder, assault, and in extreme cases, genocide. (See Crimes against humanity.) Wrath is the only sin not necessarily associated with selfishness or self interest (although one can of course be wrathful for selfish reasons, such as jealousy). Dante described vengence as "love of justice perverted to revenge and spite". The wrathful in his Purgatorio were enveloped in blinding smoke.

Envy (Jealousy, Malice)

Like Greed, Envy is characterized by an insatiable desire; they differ, however, for two main reasons: First, Greed is largely associated with material goods, whereas Envy may apply more generally. Second, those who commit the sin of Envy desire something that someone else has which they perceive themselves as lacking. Dante defined this as "love of one's own good perverted to a desire to deprive other men of theirs." In Dante's Purgatory, the punishment for the envious is to have their eyes sewn shut with wire, because they have gained sinful pleasure from seeing others brought lowly.

Pride (Vanity, Arrogance, Narcissism)

In almost every list Pride is considered the original and most serious of the seven deadly sins, and indeed the ultimate source from which the others arise. It is identified as a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to give compliments to others though they may be deserving of them, and excessive love of self (especially holding self out of proper position toward God). Dante's definition was "love of self perverted to hatred and contempt for one's neighbor." In Jacob Bidermann's medieval miracle play, Cenodoxus, Pride is the deadliest of all the sins and leads directly to the damnation of the famed Doctor of Paris, Cenodoxus. In perhaps the most famous example, the story of Lucifer, Pride was what caused his Fall from Heaven, and his resultant transformation into Satan. Vanity and Narcissism are prime examples of this Sin. In the Divine Comedy, the penitent were forced to walk with stone slabs bearing down on their backs in order to induce feelings of humility.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Now, you see, that is pride. We love ourselves that we are so afraid to go the Great Fire. I'm not a hypocrite. In times, I am, but I will not justify my actions, because... never mind... Where am I? I was saying that I'm not a hypocrite because I am guilty as most of the people around us. Most of all, I'm guilty of Wrath all the time. Right now, I am. And sometimes Sloth and Gluttony. I'm not sure if there is a life after death but I am well aware that I don't know where I will go when I die. It is really frightening to think that i may go down, down, down in that Great Fire of Misery and Eternal Punishment. But if that is will of God, be it. But it will not deter me from doing what is right. I don't really care right now if I will be rewarded with brownie points or not. Because if I keep on thinking of it, the good deed is as well be considered a sin. So, just do what is right because it is the right thing to do and not because we are expecting to be saved in the end. If we do good deeds and expected to be rewarded in the end, we are no better than those Pharisees and Scribes that persecuted Jesus.

I know, I sound like I'm preaching, but I am not. This is my opinion, my own thoughts, my own feelings. If you agree with it, good. If you don't agree with it, better. Let's have discussion, not an argument. I'm prepared to hear you out, but you should be also open-minded to my opinions because they are, at times, unconventional. I guess I'm feed up from what people do especially, ahem, those big fishes that announce all what they have done, on air, in exchange of high ratings.

YOU HARDEN THERE!

2007-06-11T13:03:00.000+08:00

This was an email that Kuya John sent me months ago. It really cracked me up so here it goes...

There was this Pinay named Maria who was born and raised in Olongapo City . She met her husband, John while he was stationed at Subic Bay Naval Base. Maria doesn't have an excellent command of the English language, but she and John manage to communicate. One day, Maria decided to cook a big dinner for John, so she called John up at work and told him to come home straight from work. John and his co-workers had been working long hours trying to finish up a project their admiral had assigned weeks ago, so they were excited to finally finish it. They decided to go to the ship's chow hall to celebrate. When John came home around midnight, he realized he forgot about the dinner that Maria had made for him. As Maria came out of the kitchen, John began to explain.

John: "Honey, I'm really sorry. The guys decided to celebrate a little bit, so we ended up eating at the ship."

Maria: " Ah, like ! that, ha? I cook the house for you, you eat the ship! "

John: "Honey, I'm really sorry."

Maria: " Ahh! Don't sorry to me! From now, you do your do, I do my do! You harden there! "

[Maria's Tagalog translation] Ah, ganon ha? Pinagluto kita dito sa bahay, kumain ka naman sa barko! Mula ngayon, gawin mo ang gusto mong gawin, gagawin ko ang gusto kong gawin! MANIGAS KA DIYAN!

This is Maria's story. If you didn't find it as funny, oh well... YOU HARDEN THERE!

1) Contemplate - Kulang ang mga pinggan
2) Punctuation - Pera para maka-enrol
3) Ice Buko - Nagtatanong kung ayos na ang buhok
4) Tenacious - Sapatos na pang tennis
5) Calculator - Tawagan kita mamaya
6) Devastation - Sakayan ng bus
7) Protestant - Tindahan ng prutas
8) Statue - Ikaw ba yan?
9) Tissue - Ikaw nga!
10) Predicate - Pakawalan mo ang pusa
11) Dedicate - Pinatay ang pusa
12) Aspect - Pantusok o pandurog ng yelo
13) Deduct - Ang pato
14) Defeat - Ang paa (ng pato)
15) Detail - Ang buntot (ng pato)
16) Deposit - Ang gripo (Call DIPLOMA if DEPOSIT is leaking)
17) City - Bago mag-utso; a number to follow six
18) Cattle - Doon nakatila ang Hali at Leyna
19) Persuading - Unang Kasal
20) Depress - Ang nagkasal sa PERSUADING
22) Defense - Ginamit ng mga pangsulat sa kontrata sa PERSUADING
23) It Depends - Kainin mo ang bakod
24) Shampoo - Bago mag-labing-isha (11)
25) Delusion - Maluwang (kapag maluwang ang damit, eh DELUSION)
26) Delivery - Walang bayad. Kapag working lunch, eh DELIVERY na ang tanghalian
27) Profit - Patunayan mo
28) Balance Sheet - What comes out after eating a balanced diet
29) Backlog - Bacon saka egg 30) Bee! hive - Magpakatino ka
31) CD-ROM - Tingnan mo ang kwarto
32) Debug - Ang ipis
33) Defrag - Ang palaka
34) Defense - Ang bakod
35) Defer - Ang balahibo
36) Deflate - Ang plato
37) Detest - Ang eksamin
38) Devalue - Yon ang susunod sa letrang V
39) Devote - Ang boto
40) Dilemma - Brownout, a!
41) Effort - Dun nagla-land ang efflane
42) Forums - Apat na kwarto
43) July - Nagsinungaling ka ba?
44) Liturgy - What comes after litur F
45) Thesis - Ito ay...

The Battle of the Brainless is back!

Host: What "N" (narra) is the national tree of the Philippines ?
Contestant: Niyog?
Host: Mas matigas pa diyan.
Contestant: (in a strong-sounding voice) NIYOG!!!

Host: Saan "B" (Bagumbayan) binaril si Jose Rizal?
Contestant: Sa back?
Host: O sige, puwede rin na ang simula ay letter "L" (Luneta).
Contestant: Likod?
Host: Hindi pa rin. Para mas madali, "R.P." ang initials ng modern name nito ( Rizal Park ). Contestant: Rear Part? (Susme! Likod pa rin yun!)

Host: Saan "B" (beach) tayo madalas pumunta pag summer upang maligo?
Contestant: Banyo?
Host: Hindi, pag pumunta ka doon, maaarawan ka.
Contestant: Bubong?
Host: Hindi, marami kang makikita duong mga babaeng naka-bikini.
Contestant: Beerhouse!

Host: Anong "L" (Lifeguard) ang tawag sa tao na sumasagip sa iyo pag ikaw ay nalulunod?
Contestant: Lifebuoy?
Host: Hindi, pero kahawig nga ng pangalan ng sabon ang pangalan nito.
Contestant : Safeguard?
Host: Hindi, pagsamahin mo yung dalawang sagot mo.
Contestant : Safe Buoy?
Host: Hindi siya "boy" at matipuno nga ang kaniyang katawan.
Contestant: Ah, Mr. Clean!

Host: Anong "S" (Salbabida) ang ginagamit na flotation device sa dagat upang hindi ka malunod?
Contestant: Sirena?
Host: Hindi! Hindi ito babae.
Contestant: Siyokoy?
Host: Hindi ito lalake.
Contestant: Siyoke?

Host: What "S" (Sampaguita) is the national flower of the Philippines ?
Contestant: Sunflower?
Host: Hindi. Binebenta ito sa kalye.
Contestant: Stork?
Host: Hindi. Bulaklak sabi eh.
Contestant: Sitsarong bulaklak?
Host: Hindi pa rin. It ends with a letter "A".
Contestant: Sitsarong bulaklak na may suka?
Host: Oh, para madali, uulitin ko ang clues at dadagdagan ko pa! Anong pangalan ng bulaklak na nagsisimula sa "S", nagtatapos sa letrang "A", at kapangalan ng isang sikat na singer?
Contestant: Si...Sharon Cuneta!

Host: Sino ang kauna-unahang Chess Grandmaster (Eugene Torre) of Asia ?
Contestant: Carole KING?
Host: Hindi, mas mababa sa king.
Contestant: Al QUINN?
Host: Hindi, tagalog ang apelyido niya.
Contestant: Armida Siguion-REYNA?
Host: Hindi pa rin. Mas mababa sa reyna.
Contestant: BISHOP Bacani?
Host: Mas mababa sa bishop.
Contestant: Johnny MidNIGHT?
Host: Mas mababa sa Knight.
Contestant: Jerry PONS?
Host: Oh, ay! an na, nabanggit mo na lahat ng piyesa sa Chess. Yung kahuli-hulihang piyesa na lang.
Contestant: Sylvia laTORRE!

Host: Sino ang national hero na naka-picture sa 500 Peso bill? Clue, may initials na N.A. (Ninoy Aquino)
Contestant: Nora Aunor?
Host: Hindi. Ang pangalan niya ay nage-end sa "Y".
Contestant: Guy Aunor?
Host: Hindi. Dati siyang Senador.
Contestant: Si Former Senator Guy Aunor?
Host: Hindi. Patay na siya.
Contestant: ANO??!! PATAY NA SI NORA AUNOR???!!!

One more, dagdag:

Host: What "K" (kalabaw) is the national animal of the Philippines ?
Contestant: Kuto?
Host: Hinde. Clue, it tills the land.
Contestant: Kutong Lupa!

(AY NAKU!! YOU HARDEN THERE!!)

Back to school...

2007-06-09T10:35:00.000+08:00

So, after 4 years, I decided to go back to school. And as of now, I'm enrolled as an AB English student in SLU. Hehehehe! Loyal po tayo. By the way, I had a GREAT time (notice the sarcasm over there?) going up and down Perfecto Building, then to the Registrar's Office back to Perfecto, then to the Accounting office for assessment.

Before paying, I was sent S315 for my perpetual ID but I was sent to the SAO (Students' Affairs Office) to have a request form for ID replacement because I was previously enrolled in the College of Engineering and Architecture. And for the people who doesn't know, I graduated with the degree of Electronics and Communications Engineering (that was quite a mouthful, huh?).

Anyways, I have to replace my ID because I'm now enrolled in the College of Human Sciences. After having the request form, I went to the 5th floor of the Vath Library to submit the necessary number of ID pictures, then down to the 3rd floor where the office of the Director of the Libraries to have the request form signed, I went back to SAO, then to the Accounting Office to pay my tution fee as well as the ID replacement fee, then back to the Perpetual ID Processing room. I opted to use my old picture from their database because I look tired, and also use my old signature because my hands were shaking from tiredness. After that, I went to the Library (again) to have my ID validated.

That, my friends, is the conclusion of my enrollment. My legs were killing me by time I arrived in our work place. Tired, hungry, and thirsty, I made it. I am now officially a student again. and I say, "Welcome back!" to my allowance.

Satisfaction...

2007-04-10T12:53:00.000+08:00

Have you ever felt that you're useless yet you're always being used by other people? A very big contradiction I must say but there are times I feel that way. As I wrote in my other blog in xanga (http://www.xanga.com/blue_echo80), I feel that I'm wasting my time. I feel useless, but I'm always being used, used by money.

Yes, you read it right. I'm being used by money, not the other way around. I spend most of the time working just to pay the bills, yet I feel that time I spend working is not enough. It's like 24 hours is not enough.

But i guess that is just human nature. Most people, including me, are never satisfied. We crave for more. Upon achieving a certain goal, we tend to stretch our limits just to reach further, to reach beyond our previous goal. In short, we crave for more, more achievements, more satisfaction given by money. I guess I have to reach out to the One above to the have satisfaction I'm craving in my life.

What is this craving I'm talking about? I have no idea what it is as for now, but I just feel incomplete... (ekk!!! I'm sounding cheesy right now!!!)

Anywayz, Bless are those people who are contended with what they have. Hope someday, I'll be one of them...

Estranghero

2007-02-09T14:11:00.000+08:00

Bakit siya nandito? Siya man, di niya alam. Basta nagising na lang siya isang umaga at di niya alam kung nasaan siya. Kakaiba siya sa mga nilalang dito. Di niya alam kung ano ang kakaiba sa kanya. Pero sila, ayaw siyang kausapin, lapitan, ni tignan man lang.

Dahil ba sa bukol sa kanyang likod o ang magaspang niyang balat? O kaya’y ang buhok niyang parang walang buhay, nakabuhaghag at nakatago sa talukbong na siya ring nagtatago sa malaking bukol sa kaniyang likod. Pero kung tignan man lang siya kahit panandalian lamang, makikita nila na ang kaibahan niya sa kanilang lahat ay ang kanyang mga mata. Walang panama ang kislap ng mga bituin sa kanilang kinang at tila hiniram ng langit ang kanilang kulay. Kulay bughaw, singbughaw ng langit sa mga araw na walang ulap na matatanaw.

Kung ilalaan lang nila kahit konting sandali upang masilayan man nila ang kanyang mga ngiti sa mga ibon at sa mga puno, makikita ang larawan ng tunay na kasiyahan. Kung kinausap man lang nila kahit minsan, sana’y narinig nila ang malambing niyang boses na pumapawi sa kanilang pagkabagabag dahil sa kanilang problema. Kung nilaan lang sana nila ang konti ng kanilang oras upang kilalanin siya, makikilala nila ang isang taong may busilak na puso.

Ngunit lahat sila, maliban sa isa, di man lang nila siya binigyan ng halaga. Lahat sila maliban sa isang bulag, na tulad niya, kinukuntya ng madla. Mula sa araw na napadpad siya sa lugar na iyon, tinulungan na siya ng bulag upang magpalakas. Tinanggap siya kung ano siya at nanirahan siya sa kanyang pamamahay.

Di man makita ng bulag, nararamdaman niya ang kakaibang aurang nanggagaling sa kanya. Isang aurang di maintindihan pero basta magkasama sila, di siya nababalisa. Tuwing naririnig ng bulag ang boses niya, wala na siyang inaalintana. Tuwing magkasama sila lahat ng nakakalungkot na nakaraan niya ay nagiging masaya. Tuwing magkasama sila, masaya siya. Di niya alam kung bakit pero unti unting nahuhulog ang loob niya sa babaeng estranghero na dumating sa kanyang buhay isang umaga.

Isang araw, may namatay na bata sa kanilang lugar. Ang sabi ng kaniyang magulang na bigla na lang nagkasakit at siya ang kanyang ikinamatay. Isinisi nila sa dalagang estranghero ang nangyari at pinaratangan nilang isa siyang salot. Alam ng lahat na ito’y isang kasinungalingan. Ang totoo’y matagal ng may sakit ang bata ngunit pinabayaan siya ng kanyang mga magulang. Ang tatay niya’y inuna ang sugal at alak.Ang nanay niya’y inuna ang tsismis at mga kapritso. Pero dahil sa takot nila sa dalagang estranghero, sinugod ng mga mamamayan ang bahay ng bulag sa gitna ng burol.

Narinig ng bulag ang kaguluhan at dagli-dagli niyang itinakas ang dalaga. Dahil sa buong buhay niya ay nakitira sa burol na kung saan merong kagubatan, madali nilang natakasan ang galit na galit mamamayan. Nang malapit na sila sa tuktok ng burol, nadapa ang babae at nasabi niyang napilyan siya. Iniangkas ng binatang bulag ang dalaga sa kanyang likod at dahan silang ipinagpatuloy ang pag-akyat. Habang siya’y naglakad ibinuhos niya ang kaniyang nararamdaman sa dalaga.

Nang matapos na niyang masabi ang kaiyang nararamdaman. Pinahinto siya ng dalaga sa kanyang paglalakad. Dahan-dahang bumaba ang dalaga mula sa kanyang likod at tumayo sa harapan ng binata. Tinanong niya kung bakit sila tumigil. Di umimik ang dalaga pero naramdaman ng bulag ang kamay nyia sa kanyang mukha. Unting-unti niyang sinasalang ang bawat bahagi ng kanyang mukha. Ang akala ng bulag ay magaspang ang kamay ng babaeng kaharap niya ngunit nagkamali siya. Sinkinis ng seda ang kanyang kamay habang sinasalat niya ang mukha ng bulag. Naramdaman din ng bulag ang unti uting pagdampi ng labi ng estrangherong babae sa kanyang noo. Ang labi niya ay singlambot ng bulak. Hinagkan din niya ng ibabaw ng ilong ng binata at naamoy ng binata ang bango ng kanyang hininga. Naramdaman din niya ang unti unting pagdampi ng malabot na labi ng dalaga sa kanyang labi.

Sa unang pagkakataon, naranasan ng binata ang isang halik na inosente at dalisay. Sa pagkakataon na iyon, tumigil ang pag-ikot ng orasan. Ayaw na niyang pakawalan ang dalaga mula sa kaniyang mga bisig. At sa unang pagkakataon, nakakita na ang binata. Sa unang pagkakataon, nakita niya ang itsura ng babaeng kaharap niya. Ngunit di siya tulad ng iba na ang di pangkaraniwang itsura ng babae ang napanpansin. Ang una niyang nakita ay ang mga mata ng dalaga. Di niya napansin ang bukol sa likod ng babae, ngunit napansin niya ang ngiti nito sa kanyang mga labi. Tinanong ng dalaga kung bakit di siya natakot sa kanyang itsura. Nangiti na lang ang binata at sa huli’y nasambit na bakit siya matatakot sa anghel na nasa harap niya.

Ngunit nabulabog sila sa malalakas na boses ng mga parating na mga tao. Dagli-dagling hinawakan ng dalaga ang kamay ng binata at hinatak papunta sa tutok ng burol. Tumakbo sila ng tumakbo hanggang maabot ang pinaka itutok ng burol. Sa di kalayuan, parating na ang mga tao.

Sa pinaka ituktok ng burol, may isang bato na pwedeng tuntungan ng tao . Doon makikita ang bulubundukin sa bandang kaliwa at ang karagatan naman sa bandang kanan. Ngunit ito’y isang mapanganib na lugar sapagkat isang bangin ang nag-aabang pag nagkamali ng hakbang ang sino mang tumuntong dito. Ngunit di inalintana ng dalaga ang panganib na ito. Tumuntong pa rin siya sa malaking bato ngunit di binitawan ng binata ang kanyang kamay.

Sa tuktok ng burol, mararamdaman ang malakas na hangin. Ito ay nanggagaling sa karagatan at sa mga bulubundukin. Mula sa kanyang tinutuntungan ng dalaga, hinarap niya ang karagatan. Pagkatapos, tumingin siya sa binata na naguguluhan sa mga kinikilos ng dalaga. Ngunit dahil sa kislap ng mga mata at sa ngiti sa labi ng dalaga, napawi ito at sinukilan din niya ito ng ngiti.

Nahinto ang mga tao nang makita nila ang dalawa sa ibabaw ng malaking bato. Nabigla na lang sila sa kanilang nakita ng may kung anong puwersa ang humatak sa talukbong ng babae. Ang nakita nila ay hindi isang kubana may buhaghag n buhok kundi isang nilalang na may pakpak at may bughaw na mata. At sa isang iglap, pumaitaas ng paikot na siya kasama ang binatang dati’y bulag. Nawala silang pareho sa mga ulap sa kalangitan. At ng makita uli nila ang dalawa pagkalipas ng ilang minuto, pareho n silang may pakapak at lumipad patungo sa sumisikat na araw.

Hanggang sa araw na ito, di pa rin maalis ng mga tao ang pangyayaring yaon. May nagsabing sila ay mga salot at ang iba naman ay nagsabing silaay mga engkanto. Ngunit ayon sa mga matatanda, sila ay mga nagkasalang anghel. Unang dumating ang bulag na binata dahil sa umibig siya sa isang mortal na babae. At dahil sa kanya, nasiraan ng bait sa pagkabigla at di kalaonan namatay ang babae. Ang dalagang kuba naman ay sumuway sa kautusan ng Diyos at nakialam siya sa buhay ng kanyang pinoprotekhang bata na siya ring naging sanhi ng pagkamatay ng bata. Sinumpa sila na sila’y mananatili sa kanilang kalagayang iyon hanggang may tumaggap sa kanila kung ano sila at di dahil sa panglabas na anyo.

Mula noon, wala na silang balita tungkol sa dalawa. At mula na rin noon,ang mga tao ay di n mapanghusga. Naging masagana na rin ang kanilang pamumuhay ngunit sila’y naging matulungin sa kapwa nila. Paminsan-minsan habang naglalaro ang mga bata sa ituktok ng burol, meron silang natatanaw na dalawang tila mga ibon na lumilipad sa kalawakan sa ibabaw ng kanilang lugar. At ayon sa kanila, tila mga ibon na lumilipad ay ung binata at dalaga na minsan ay nanirahan sa kanilang bayan. Sila na ang tagabantay ng kanilang munting bayan upang di na uli sila bumalik sa dati nilang pag-uugali.

Ano pa man ang katotohanan sa likod ng kuwento, silang dalawa na lang ang makakapag-sabi kung ano yun. Ngunit dahil sa walang naglaan ng panahon nila para makilala nila ang mga ito, ang lahat, hanggang ngayon, ay puro haka-haka lamang.

I'm baaaaack!

2007-02-03T17:54:00.000+08:00

Opo. Tama po ang inyong nabasa. Ako'y nagbabalik para ipamahagi ang mga pananaw ko sa buhay. Di ko lang alam, baka bukas, ayaw na naman gumana ang utak ko at mawawala na naman ako.

Opisyal na po. Ako'y babalik sa unibersidad para mag-aral ulit. AB English ang kukunin kong kurso. At kung papalarin, kukuha ako ng TOEFL o kaya'y IELTS para makapagturo sa ibang bansa. Pero lahat ng ito ay plano pa lamang. Ang sigurado ay magtuturo ako, at magsulat din kung makakapasa sa panlasa ng tao ang mga gawain ko. Pero kahit na hindi, ipagpapatuloy ko pa rin para lang sa pansariling kaligayahan (satisfaction po iyon sa ingles).

Tanong: Bakit AB English? Sa mga di po nakakakilala sa akin, nagtapos ako ng ECE, Electronics and Communications Engineering po ang ibig sabihin ng ECE. Ito ay sa mga di po nakakalaam lamang.

Di ba malayo ang AB English sa ECE?

Tama, malayo nga pero gusto kong sumubok sa ibang larangan. Yung di palaging gumagamit ng napakaraming numero, mga teknikal na terminolihiya, at modernong teknolohiya. Di ko ipagkakaila na mahilig din ako sa makabagong 'electronic gadgets' pero gusto kong linangin ang aking 'artistic side'. Mula pa ng pagkabata, gusto kong magbasa at magsulat pero ang mag ito ay nauwi sa pagkahilg sa computers at sa communication technology.

Kung AB English ang gusto kong kuning kurso, bakit sa Filipino ako nagsusulat ngayon sa blog na ito?

Wala, gusto ko lang.

Salamat pala sa http://www.tagalog-dictionary.com/ sapagkat kung wala ito, mahahalata na naghihikaos ang bokabularyo ko sa Filipino. Ang katotohanan ay mas mahirap magsulat sa Filipino kaysa sa Ingles kasi walang automatikong (?) tagapagtama ng mali mong baybay sa Microsoft Word. At nasanay na rin tayong magsulat sa lengguwaheng pangtxt, kaya di natin namamalayan, iba na ang baybay ng mga salitang ibig nating isulat. Tama o tama ba ang sinasabi ko?

Ano, balik na tayo sa ingles? Sure. No problem.

So where was I these past months? FictionPress. This is where I spend most of my time. I got addicted to 'Internet novels'. I don't have the time to go and buy books or even borrow. Having time just to drop by to National bookstore and look for a new book to sink my fangs in, is a very rare luxury. The last time I bought a book was last April 2006. Yes, you read it right, April 2006. It's nearly a year since I've been to a bookstore. By the way, I bought 2 books that time.
Stainless Longganisa by Bob Ong, which I just finshed reading last Feb 7, 2007 because I took a day off from work. Well, the truth is, there was a scheduled power interruption here in Baguio City from 7am to 7pm, so I spent the whole day at home reading and sleeping. But I'm not that lazy. I cooked dinner for the family that day.

The other book I bought was Paboritong Libro ni Hudas, by Bob Ong as well. So far, I'm still at the last chapter but I can say that it is one of my favorite books up to date, aside from ABNKKBSNPLAko?! again by Bob Ong and The Rose of the Prophet by Tracy Hickman and Margaret Weis. Actually, it is a triology and I just read the first book 'The Will of the Wanderer'. I'm still looking for the elusive second and third book, entitled The Paladin of the Night and The Prophet of Akhran, respectively.

Attention: Ako po'y nanawagan sa mga taong nakakabasa nito, kung meron pong nakakaalam kung saan po ako makakapagtagpo ng kopya ng mga nasabing libro dito sa Pilipinas, particulary sa Baguio, pero kahit sa Maynila puwede po, sana po ay ipagbigay alam sa akin. Ito po ay seryosong usapan. Mula pa po nng dekada '90 ako naghahanap ng mga librong ito pero sa kasamaang palad, hindi ko pa rin ako nakahanap.

So I hope I explained enough. I’m going back to where I spent my last 3 months away from my blog.

Ciao!

My Procrastination

2006-10-12T17:04:00.000+08:00

Slowly as the pen glided on a blank page, another word stained my imagination.

Like a paintbrush soaked with colors, running on a blank canvass, my mind was lost in those swirls and stokes.

Word after word, they took me to another place. In a place where I can be what I want to be.

But then every story has its own end. Mine has again ended as I placed a dot next to the last word written, signifying another beginning, another pretension, another ending.

As I close my notebook, I let out a sigh and looked outside my window.

Maybe I'll start living my own story, taking everything inside and share them as I go along my own path.

It maybe not an easy trail but then it's my own path, it's my own choice.

Maybe I'll start my life and stop living with many 'what if's' in my mind.

Maybe tomorrow, I'll start.

As for now, let me be. Let me soak the last rays of the sun as another story pops into my head.

Let me open my notebook again and let my pen glide on the blank pages of my sanctuary.

Let me have another beginning, another pretension, another ending.

And maybe tomorrow, I'll start living my life with no 'what if's' tattooed in my soul.

Wala na...

2006-10-07T19:47:00.000+08:00

Isa, dalawa,tatlo...

Pumapatak na naman ang ulan sa bubong. Ilang ulit ko ng pinagmasdan ang agos nang tubig na dulot ng mga ulap sa itaas. Nasasalo ng kalsada, patungong kanal. Unti-unti ring gumagawa ng pansamantalang bakas sa salamin ng bintana.

Ilang beses na rin ako umasang ako naman. Ako naman ang mapansin, ako naman sana ang nasa tabi mo. Ako naman sana...

Kailan kaya ako naman ang mamahalin mo?

Masakit ang umasa pero sa huli, wala rin lang. Hindi ka pa rin mapapasa akin...

Isa lang akong patak ng ulan na umagos sa buhay mo. Isa lang akong mukhang pansamantalang nakita at di napansin.

Tama na ang drama. Kain na lang tayo.

Ano?! Wala na?

'Tang Ina! Gutom na ako. Wala na ung noodles. Ubos na.

Sayang. Chicken flavor pa man din yun...

Saan Ka Pupunta?

2006-10-07T10:09:00.000+08:00

Saan ka pupunta sa mundong ito kung ang lahat ng lugar na patutunguhan mo ay puno ng maligno na nagpapanggap na tao? Saan ka tatakbo kung sa lahat ng sulok may naghihintay para sunggaban ka at himukin na sumama sa liko-liko nilang pag-iisip? Saan ka pupunta kung sa gilid ng kalsada, nakaabang ang tukso na lulukob sa iyong mundo? Saan ka pupunta kung kahit anong gawin mo, nakabuntot pa rin sila sa iyo?

Tumakbo ka, sumigaw ka, tumalon ka, magtago ka, nandiyan pa rin ang iyong nakaraang ayaw kang lubayan. Pati sa kamatayan ayaw kang iwan. Hahabulin ka pa rin kahit na nailabas mo na ang huli mong hininga. Nandyan sila sa loob ng iyong utak, mga halimaw na iyong nilikha, kahit pumikit ka, nakikita mo sa likod ng iyong isipan ang kanilang mga matang nakatingin sa iyong mukha. Di mo mabura sa alaala ang mga ngiting may ibang kahulugan maliban sa kaligayahan. Magsisi ka man, huli na. ang kapatawaran na iyong hinihiling ay di na mapapasa iyo.

Iwasan mo man, nakadikit pa rin sila sa iyo na parang balat. Alisin mo man ay mag-iiwan ng pilat na siyang magpapaalala sa iyo ng mga demonyong gumagambala sa iyong pagtulog. Tulog ka man o gising, para ka pa ring nanaginip. Parang kang nakalutang sa hangin at nakatingin sa iyong mortal na katawan na tumatakbo palayo ng palayo mula sa iyong mundo. Pero sa iyong paglingon sa iyong likuran, nakita mong di ka man lang lumayo kahit isang hakbang man lang mula sa iyong kinatatayuan. Luminga ka sa iyong paligid at walang kang nakita kundi mga matang nanalilisik sa galit at gutom. Nakita mo ang apoy mula sa kanilang mga mata na di kayang diligan kahit ng iyong dugo na tumatagos mula sa sugat ng iyong kaluluwa. At ang gutom nila ay malalasahan mo sa hanging nakapalagid sa iyo. Pati ang mga diyos at diyosa ay wala nang magawa kundi ibigay ka ng kusa sa mga kamay na naghihintay para paghatian ang iyong laman. Pipirapirasuhin ito hanggang maging singlaki na lang ng abo sa hangin, ngunit ang galit at gutom ay nandun pa rin.

Ito na ba ang mundong nalikha mula sa iyong imahinasyon? Saan ka pupunta upang matakasan ang iyong kahapon? Saan ka pupunta pag ang pintuan sa iyong katinuan ay nakapinid sa kabila ng tulay na di mo makita pati sa liwanag? Ano ang iyong gagawin kung ang akala mong pakpak na binigay sa iyo upang makalipad tungo sa kaligtasan, ay siya ring dahilan upang bumulusok pababa sa kawalan? Ano ang iyong gagawin upang magising sa isang bangungot na siyang pumipigil sa iyo upang mabuhay sa labas ng karimlan na bumabalot sa iyong diwa? Ano ang gagawin mo pag nalaman mong katotohanan na pala ang bangungot na bumabagabag sa iyo? Ano ang iyong gagawin upang makawala sa larawan na naging iyong bilangguan mula pa noong ika’y isang musmos pa lamang?

Ano ang iyong gagawin pag nalaman mong isa ka lang palang larawan na nakasabit sa dingding?

Salamin

2006-10-07T09:55:00.000+08:00

Sa kwento ng iyong buhay, ikaw ang prinsesa, ikaw rin ang alipin pero sino ka nga ba? Kilala mo nga ba ang sarili mo? Tumingin ka sa salamin. Ito ba ang tunay na ikaw o isa ka lamang kathang isip na nilikha ng isang makata? Alam mo ba kung bakit ka nandito? Maiiba ba ang iyong pananaw sa buhay pag alam mo? Sa iyo nga ba talaga ang iyong buhay? O kontrolado ka ng mga idelohiyang pinaglalaban mo? Ano nga ba ang tama? Ano nga ba ang mali?

Mga tanong…

May katapusan ba ang mga ito? Ano ang iyong gagawin sa iyong buhay para masabi mong talagang iyo ito? Magpapatuloy ka bang mabuhay sa mortal na daigdig o magiging duwag ka at tatapusin mo na ito? Ano ba ang sukat ng ‘katapangan’? katapangan ba ang mabuhay ng patuloy at hamunin ang mundo para ipakitang mali ka nga ? o mas matapang ka na tapusin na ito at harapin ang isang katapusan na dapat di ikaw ang gagawa? Kaduwagan ba ang talikuran ang buhay at yakapin si kamatayan? Ano ang iyong gagawin kung pati si kamatayan ay itakwil ka at hahayaang mabuhay ng patuloy hanggang makita mo ang tunay na ikaw?

Ano ang iyong gagawin upang mawala ang bahid ng dugo mula sa iyong kamay at mukha? Ano ang iyong gagawin upang di mo na marinig ang mga sigaw na nagmumula sa ilalim ng lupa? Ano ang gagawin mo pag nakita mo ang sarili mo salamin ngunit ang nakita mo ay multo na lamang ng iyong dating katauhan? Ano ang iyong gagawin kung nahanap mo ang tunay mong sarili sa iyong anino?

Umiyak ka man di mo na kayang hugasan ang iyong mga pagkakamali. Lumipad ka man upang hagkan ang langit, ngunit nung inakala mong nandoon ka na, natagpuan mo ang iyong sarili sa yakap ng kadiliman. Haharapin mo ba ang multo ng iyong nakaraan o magatatgo ka na lang habang buhay sa likod ng mga kasinungalingan? Paano ka lalaya mula sa iyong sariling kulungan na ikaw rin lang ang lumikha?

Ano ba talaga? Ano ba talaga ang buhay? Ano ba talaga ang kamatayan? Ano ba talaga ang kasiyahan? Ano ba talaga kalungkutan? Ano ba talaga ang pag-ibig? Ano ba talaga kabiguan?

Ang lahat ng ito ay masasagot ng tao pero iba-iba ang kasagutan sa base sa bawat pananaw. Puwedeng ang buhay ay ang buhay na matatagpuan pagkatpos ng mortal na kamatayan. Pwede ring ang kamatayan ay ang araw-araw na pagkukunwari na babalik ang isang taong di talaga para sa iyo. Puwede ring ang kasiyahan ang pagpaparaya upang sumaya ang isang iniibig, kahit na ang katumbas ay habang buhay na pagpatak ng luha. Puwede ring ang kabiguan ay mapapasa-iyo nga ang pisikal na katawan ng taong mahal ngunit ang puso’t isipan nya ay nasa iba.

Ako, nahanapan ko na ang aking sarili. Natanggap ko na ring ang aking buhay ay di akin. Natanggap ko na ring na ang mga katanungan sa buhay ay di nasasagot sa isang iglap lang. nahahanap o nasasagot ang mga ito sa mga sitwasyong ating tinatahak araw-araw. Ang sariling pananaw ay di dapat ipagpilitan sapagkat bawat tao ay may sariling perosnalidad, may sariling paniniwala, may sariling pag-iisip. Ang tao ay sadyang matalino pero nagpapakatanga lamang kung minsan. At inaamin kong ako rin ay may mga katangahan na nagagawa at ikinakahiya sa una pero tinatawanan ko na lang sa kalaonan. Wala akong pakialam kung may paniniwala ka sa Diyos o wala. Respetohin mo ako at ibabalik ko ang respetong ibinigay mo sa akin. Wala akong pakialam kung ano ka sa iyong nakaraan. Tatanggapin kita kung ano ka at kung sino ka. Wag mo lang akong husgahan sapagkat hindi ikaw ang nagbigay buhay sa akin. Kung ayaw mo sa akin, di ko ipagpipilitan ang sarili ko sa iyo o kaya’y baguhin ang mga paniniwala at katauhan upang magustuhan ako ng lipunan.

Ikaw, nahanap mo na ba ang iyong sarili? Gusto mo ba ang iyong nakikita? Kung hindi, ano ang iyong gagawin? Kung oo, ipagpapatuloy mo ba ang iyong kasalukuyan?

Mga tanong…

May katapusan ba ang mga ito?

Sa salamin ng buhay, nakita mo ang iyong tunay na sarili. Gusto mo ba ang iyong nakikita?

Ang Karayom: Bow!

2006-10-06T09:58:00.000+08:00

As of now, I officially hate cross-stitching. I was doing this cross-stitch thingie because I was challenge by Kuya John, who by the way is my partner in this computer shop where I'm working. He challenged me by saying, "Kapatid, babae ka. Do some cross-stitching for a change." I did and I finished one which was about 4in x 5in in size. HE JUST LAUGHED AT ME! THE NERVE! He said that it is better to make something larger than that. I said, Fine! then went and looked for a pattern in the Internet and found one. Actually, I found several but he chose this.

So I bought the necessary threads, and needle (yap i don't even have a needle for cross-stitching). But my big mistake: I chose a cloth which has small square thingies. It wasn't an Aida cloth, it was a basket weave, according to one of the tenants of the building where the shop is located. Actually, I saw this cloth in our linen closet, and because I don't want to spend another penny for the cloth (because the threads cost P10.50 each. I use DMC by the way), I decided to use it. BIG MISTAKE! I'm having a hard time counting and sometimes, I skip a stitch. GRRRR!!! But I will finish this! Yes, I will! And I will do another pattern but next time I'll choose an Aida cloth. I found a pattern of an angel and I'm planning to use to use a black cloth so that the colors will really pop out.

Question: what's the difference of an Aida cloth and a basket weave?

I remembered doing cross stitch for the first time ( I still have that project), and it was like 16 years ago. I was in grade 4 back then. Yes, do the math and you'll know my age. Oh Hell! I'll just make your life easier. I'm 26 y/o now. Lang hiya, di ko alam ang ginagawa ko (biglang switch sa Filipino) kaya tatay ko ang gumawa. Kakahiya, pero totoo. Tatay ko ang gumawa, pero ung simula lang. Ako na ang nagtuloy nung natutunan ko kung paano. Ang kahinatnan ng aking proyekto: presentable naman pero for the first time, nagkaroon ako ng gradong 75 ng First Grading sa HELE na pang grade 4. Yes people, tumatagingting na 75. Di ko matanggap na 75 ang grado ko sa HELE, hanggang ngayon. Nabasa mo un, Ma'am T--------a? (kung kilala nyo ung class adviser ng Gr.IV Sec 1, nung SY 1990-1991, sya un) Pero natakot din ako baka mapagalitan ako ng nanay ko. Di ko nga matandaan kung anong nangyari nun. It was a blur, 'ika nga sa ingles. Pero natatandaan ko na ung isa kong kaklaseng brusko ang dating, pero ang galing manahi!(Kilala nyo ung panganay at mas maputi dun sa twins na lalaki sa batch namin sa elementary, sya un. Pare, peace!). Huli ko syang nakita ay nung highschool ata un. Pumunta siya sa Andres Bonifacio Elem Para sa laro nila sa basketball. San na kaya sila nung kambal nya na naging kaklase ko nung Grade 6?

Sana lahat ng lalaki marunong para di na lang babae ang natutusok ang daliri ng karayom (Sleeping Beauty, anyone?)

Random fact:

Alam nyo bang natahi ko ang kaliwang hintuturo ko sa makina nung highschool? Ang tawag dun ay KATANGAHAN. Gumawa ako ng project sa THE IV noon nung naaliw ako sa bilis ng takbo ng makina at di ko namalayang nakahambalang pala ung daliri ko sa "dadaanan" ng karayom. Nung naramdaman ko ng pumasok ung karayom sa daliri ko, "hinila" ko ung kamay ko. Sa isang iglap, tumigil ung makina. Sa una, ang tinignan ko ay ung karayom. Kinabahan ako kasi nakita ko bali. Kaya kahit dumudugo ung daliri ko, hinanap ko ung nawawalang parte. Suwerte, nahanapan ko. Di sya nabaon o naiwan sa daliri. Next: Ung sugat ko. Nakita kong isa lang ung tahi. Minsan lang natusok. Sa gilid ng kuko pumasok at tagos-tagos. Suwerte ulit.

Ang malas: masakit at walang tigil ang dugo.

Ang resulta: Hinimatay ako. un ang comedy dun. Nakita ako ng kapatid ko, pero dahil sa pagkabigla, natulala siya. Kailangan pang sigawan ng nanay namin para lang buhatin ako. And take note: Dalawa pa sila bumuhat sa akin papuntang sofa pero tumama pa rin ang puwet ko sa center table. Tama nga ang sinabi nilang mabigat ang mga nahihimatay. Pero puwede ring talagang mabigat ako. Balik sa kuwento. Nung nahimasmasan ako, pinainom ako ng tubig. Tapos tanong kung bakit? Anong nangyari? Ma, hinimatay ako. Di ko alam kung anong sumunod dun pero, masakit ang kaliwang bahagi ng puwet ko. Bakit ganun? basta napapaupo ako, nadudulas o kung anu man, sa kaliwang bahagi ang tumatama? Natusok ko rin ng needle ng rotring tech pen kong 0.5 ang nasabing kaliwang hintuturo habang inaalis ko sya para maalis ang clog. Pero dahil sa puwersa, naitusok ko rin ang nasabing salarin sa daliri ko. Sa ngayon, may blue na dot ang kaliwang hintuturo ko. Pathetic tattoo! Dot lang?! Siguro, kung nasa kaliwang bahagi ang appendix ng tao, masasabi kong talagang kaliwa lang ang accident prone sa katawan ko. (wala na pala akong appendix. Inooperahan ako para maalis yun nung 7 y/o ako. Pag-usapan natin un sa mga sumusunod kong blog. sobrang haba na kasi ito eh.)

Balik sa kuwento. Nung alam kong makakatayo na ako, bumalik ako sa crime scene.

Nakita ko pa ung baling karayom. Pero wala nang bakas ng dugo.

Tama, pinunasan ko pala yun bago ako hinimatay.

Hmmmm... nasan n iyong extrang machine needle #14? Wala na. Yun ung nabali.

Sayang, di ko matatapos ung shorts na ginagawa ko.

Project mo ba un?

Hindi. Tapos ko na. Gusto ko lang gumawa ng extra na shorts na gagamitin sa ilalim ng palda ng uniform ko...

Sa ngayon, gusto ko pa rin ang manahi. Mapa sa makina o cross stitch man . Kaso, ung cross-stitch na ginawa ko: nalaktawan ko ang 2 linya kaya ako naaasar, at pinamigay ng nanay ko last year ung makina.

Hay.... Sayang. Madami pa man din kaming pinagdaanan. Pati ung daliri ko dinaanan niya. Well, pabili na lang uli ako ng makina kay mama ng bago para masaya. Pero TANDAAN: HUWAG TATANGA-TANGA. Ang tinatahi ng makinang pantahi ay tela at di daliri.(Maliban kung brutal ka at tatahiin mo ung kamay ng kaaway mo sa makina. GROSS!)

I miss you, Zenith. Ang pangalan pala nung makina ay Zenith. Yun ang brand, pero puwede rin natin siyang tawagin Zenith. Ang karayom niya ay Singer Machine Needle #14. At may 3 extrang bobbin sa isa sa mga drawer nya. May tailor's chalk din dun na kulay orange.

Pahabol: (anong ibig sabihin ng PS pala?)

Napansin nyo bang puro nakaraan ko sa buhay ang laman ng blog na ito? Eh mas maganda na un kaysa tsismis tungkol sa mga artista (Buntis na ba talaga si Kris Aquino?) o kaya tsismis ng buhay ng may buhay (ung pusa ng kapitbahay namin, nawala nung isang buwan, ngayon buntis) ...

Offline uli ung Lotto sa building namin. Nasunog/Nasira ung 2 dalawang machine nila. Ilan ba ang machine nila? 2. Sa Tuesday pa darating ung technician nila...

me and kuwaderno

2006-10-04T13:53:00.000+08:00

Lotto is now online. They were offline since September 28, 2006 due to the typhoon. So what's the relevance of this fact to my blog? none at all...

Tin just returned my copy of kuwaderno vol. 3, and she just informed me that Eisha has found a new habit: she now has the hang of eating paper. yes, you heard me right. She likes to eat paper. My book has teeth marks on one of it's edges as a proof. Glad that Tin rescued it from those voracious but cute jaws. Again, Tin scolded her saying, "Anak, kaya naman kitang pakainin ng kanin, bakit papel ang gusto mo?" Tin, dalawang taong gulang yan, curious lang siguro kung ano ang lasa ng papel. Di bale, galing yan sa plants, organic. okay yan! (dodging a shoe being thrown at me...oh! chuck taylors! ung isa pa!! Aray! masakit na yun ha! Di bale akin na ito! Takbo, melai! Takbo! Hayyy! I just made my own mini monologue.)

Sadly, she left my 3rd bob ong book, stainless longganisa, and 2 of her Jessica Zafra books that she's lending me at home. Better luck next time...

Random facts

I've been browsing my mails (i have 3 yahoo accounts, 1 hotmail account, and 1 gmail account. Yes, i know i don't have a life), and i came across on this in one of my email accounts

NICE TO KNOW THIS

Chewing on gum while cutting onions can help a person from stop producing tears. Try it next time you chop onions!
Until babies are six months old, they can breathe and swallow at the same time. Indeed convenient! (do this now and you'll choke!)
Offered a new pen to write with, 97% of all people will write their own name. (I do.)
Male mosquitoes are vegetarians. Only females bite. (you go girl!)
The average person's field of vision encompasses a 200-degree wide angle. (di totoo yan! ba't di pa rin lumalapit ung eye candy ko sa akin? Hindi, kapatid! duling lang un! kaya limited ang field of vision nya)
To find out if a watermelon is ripe, knock it, and if it sounds hollow then it is ripe.
Canadians can send letters with personalized postage stamps showing their own photos on each stamp. (siguradong tatakbo ang mga tao pag mukha ko ung nasa stamp. Di dahil sa takot. Dahil hahanapin ako para sa autograph ko. hehehe!! Ang kapal!)
Babies' eyes do not produce tears until the baby is approximately six to eight weeks old.
It snowed in the Sahara Desert in February of 1979. (kailan na ung dito sa baguio? 1700's?)
Plants watered with warm water grow larger and more quickly than plants watered with cold water. (totoo yan)
Wearing headphones for just an hour will increase the bacteria in your ear by 700 times. (opps!)
Grapes explode when you put them in the microwave. (Oh! did you see the clip on what's going happen if you microwave water? It will "blow" up resulting to serious injuries. water (alone) should never be heated in a microwave oven. If water is heated in this manner, something should be placed in the cup to diffuse the energy such as: a wooden stir stick, tea bag, etc. It is however a much safer choice to boil the water in a tea kettle. )
Those stars and colours you see when you rub your eyes are called phosphenes.
Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. (e di ang laki pala ng mata ko nung bata ako? creepy!)
Every one's tongue print is different, like fingerprints. (lika nga, dilaan kita)
Contrary to popular belief, a swallowed chewing gum doesn't stay in the gut. It will pass through the system and be excreted.
At 40 Centigrade a person loses about 14. 4 calories per hour by breathing. (never mind..)
There is a hotel in Sweden built entirely out of ice; it is rebuilt every year. (interesting...)
Cats, camels and giraffes are the only animals in the world that walk right foot, right foot, left foot, left foot, rather than right foot,left foot...
Onions help reduce cholesterol if eaten after a fatty meal. (pero baho ng hininga pagkatapos. paano na yan? kakailanganin mo ang isang pack ng chewing gum before and after dealing with onions...)
The sound you hear when you crack your knuckles is actually the sound of nitrogen gas bubbles bursting. (ahhh... Okay...)
In most watch advertisements the time displayed on the watch is 10:10 because then the arms frame the brand of the watch And make it look=20 like it's smiling. (ano raw?)
The color blue can have a calming affect on people.
Depending upon the shade, the brain may send up to 11 tranquilizing chemicals to calm the body.
Leonardo DA Vinci could write with the one hand and draw with the other simultaneously. Now we know why his pictures were exquisite!!
Names of the three wise monkeys are: Mizaru (See no evil),Mikazaru(Hear no evil), and Mazaru (Speak no evil).
The only 2 animals that can see behind itself without turning it's head are the rabbit and parrot.
The only 15 letter word that can be spelled without repeating a letter is uncopyrightable.
Babies are born without knee caps. They don't appear until the child reaches 2-6 years of age (kaya pala lampa ang bata)
The names of the continents all end with the same letter with which they start.
Electricity doesn't move through a wire but through a field around the wire.
All U.S. Presidents have worn glasses; some of them just didn't like to be seen wearing them in public. (bisto!)
No word in the English language rhymes with month, orange, silver,and purple.
Raw cashews are poisonous and must be roasted before. (cashew = langka, este, kasoy pala. right?)

Ouch... Nah! That's okay...

2006-10-01T10:07:00.000+08:00

That's gonna hurt...

okay, here's a very funny situation I found myself into yesterday. We just got home and my cousin was looking for her house keys when I walked behind her and guess what? I SLIPPED. Yap, I did the whole "whooaa! blag!" thingie. One second, I'm walking towards my cousin, the next second I all I can see is her butt. I contemplating if I'm going to grab her to stop my butt from smacking the ground, but in return have her falling down on top of me. Or just let my behind kiss the floor and avoid risking having more body pains from being pinned down by my cousin. I chose the latter one. I did that while waiting for my butt to make a thudding sound.

And it did. I'm glad I landed on my left butt cheek and not on my hip. And I'm glad that I have a big butt(but not that big), to mitigate my fall. As for now, my butt doesn't hurt but my left wrist hurts a little because I used it to break my fall. BAD IDEA!!!What happened after that? We were laughing our asses of while waiting for someone to open the door. The long lost key in my cousin's bag was forgotten and we kept on laughing on the fate of my good ol' butt.

My mom should had put a CAUTION: SLIPPERY WHEN WET sign at the gate or the sign below will have to do.

before that graceful landing...

Yesterday, around 12 noon, I heard a familiar greeting: "Hey, Bitch!"

Yap. Tin is officially in the house, I mean, in the shop. Christine Marie B. Rivera, aka Tin, is my friend since the 6th grade. She's really a loud mouthed person (yes tin, you are. Admit it) but has a very bubbly personality. And she's an EXCELLENT writer and painter. My works would look like only a child's work when placed side by side with hers...

the history behind the friendship...

How did I became friends with her? Well, that's really a question we still asked since the beginning. At first, when we became classmates in the sixth grade in SLSC in SY 92-93, I really don't like her. She was very loud, articulate, assertive and a wittle bit intimidating. A complete opposite of my personality. But when we had an "intelligent" conversation later that year, I found out that we have alot of commons. I actually saw a potential friend behind a very "eccentric" person. When highschool came, we were inseparable since then.

Though she has a loud voice, she's mindful of her manners. She knows when to speak and when to listen.

We also have another member of our little clique. Her name is Cherre May G. Magno. She's a nurse and now working in Tabuk, not in Kalinga, but in Saudi Arabia. She's the "emotional" one and the "conscience" of our group. Like Christine, I didn't like her at first. She was very kind, which is kinda irritating for me. Her so-called friends back then were talking behind her back but she just turn a blind eye to it. She always put other people before her that she tend to neglect herself. She's kinda the younger version of Mother Teresa(God bless her soul) and she wanted to be a social worker but due to unseen circumstances, she became a nurse. But she really give really sensible advice when you need one.

where do the different personalities meet...

tin and me: we love to write. We love taking pictures of sceneries. We like bob ong's books especially ABNKKBSNPLAKO. We love music, we have the same taste of music genre. Each one of us have a younger sibling. We use the 'f' word alot. We wear our wrist watch on our left wrists. We disagree that country music makes you dumb because we like country music (yeah, we do), and we're not dumb, academically speaking. We love to have tattoos (but still don't have any) . We also love to have multiple body piercing. (So far all we have are lousy ear piercing, 4 for me, tin has 3). We love watching CSI. We still live here in Baguio.

che and me: we tend to fall easily. We are crybabies. Our birthday falls on the month of January. We love music, but she's on the RnB side, me on the alternative rock. We know each other since the fourth grade. We're both right handed. We have curly hair. We are both the proud godmothers of tin's daughter Keisha Jhai, who, by the way, loves Kris Aquino.(Why, Keisha anak? Whyyyyy???)

tin and che: their siblings are females. (Tin has one, Kat, and Che has 2, Azenith and Jen) They are fashionistas. They both smoke and drink. Their birthdays fall on the 5th day of their respective birthmonth. They live on the same neighborhood. They don't know how to bake. They sound weird when speaking Ilocano. They love taking pictures of themselves cause they are both photogenics. They know how to put on cosmetics. They don't get pimples. They are the only ones who can get away after calling me "Bitch". And they know alot about the male anatomy, or generally the male gender, che being a nurse and tin as a mom. When they talk about men, I'm like a sponge, soaking everything up, even though I find it kinda embarrassing to talk about it in public. Because of those conversations, my untainted mind is now forest green, or does it have a darker shade of green? I think it's darker.

Our differences: I know how to bake. I have a brother, who is taller than me. Che hates Judy Anne Santos. I love Judy Anne's boyfriend, Ryan Agoncillo, and Tin doesn't give a damn about Judy Anne Santos. Che's lost in the conversation when tin and I talk about Bob Ong. I'm lost when they talk about men. I love to have a bi boyfriend, a former gay is much appreciated, even a gay one (And i'm really serious about this but i think having a gay boyfriend is farfetched). Straight men are just what's the word... I'll get back to you when i have the appropriate word. All i have now is "chauvinist". Tin loves the color orange, I hate it... I don't smoke nor drink liquor. Someone has to stay sober if things got out of hand. But I have to say, I had my first taste of beer was when I was only 4 years old. Hey! They told me it was soft drinks for grown ups!!(Ayna! kinnana dagidiay nga artek nga kainuman ni lolang ko. Ayan da ngatan? Naluto siguro dagi diay ut-utek dan gapu iti arak!) Anyways, moving along. I hate the beach. I easily get burnt. Even if i use a sunscreen. I make my own accessories. Well, not actually make them. I alter them to fit my taste. I'm a homebody. Che and Tin: mga lagalag! I have a vey sensitive skin, that's why i dont use make-up. Che's a nurse. Tin's a business management student. I'm an ECE graduate. Che's working abroad, Tin's a news correspondent (part time), and i'm a shop manager/aspiring writer. I only went to 18BC 3x, Ayuyang once and that's it. Pinanganak ako sa bulubundukin ng Cordillera, sila sa patag. I hate taking pictures of my face (but i think my camphone will beg to differ). And I never had a boyfriend. I'm only the member of the NBSB club among us. NOTE: NBSB = No Boyprend Since Birth

but where do our personalities meet: Each one of us is the eldest child in our respective families. So we can relate to each other's dilemma of being the eldest child. Our siblings are taller than us. We love to eat. We love music, though we like different genres. We love traveling. We talk anything under the sun. We put our families first before ourselves. We love to curse. We love to use the 'p' word. We have eccentric sense of humor. We know each other's mood just taking a look on one's face. And we don't know how to drive a car. We graduated from SLSC in 1993 and from SLSC Girls' High in 1997. We love chicken. (yes, the dead ones. The cooked ones are really in danger of being ravished within minutes after they were served infront of us, particularly by me. But i ravish them demurely). We are easily amused. We love coffee and we love pizza. That's why we love going to Volante. And we are chocolate addicts.

As we can see, we have alot more of differences than what are common. But then those differences makes our friendship interesting. We give each other information regarding what are the latest regarding to our personal interests. Now, I disagree with the sayings "birds of the same feather flock together" and "tell me who your friends are and I'll tell who you are". That's a total crap...

Anyways, if they will learn about my ever graceful landing they will either laugh or frown at me and say: "Yan kasi, tatanga-tanga! Sa susunod, sa kabila naman. Ulitin mo ulit ha!" And sarcastic smile will follow.

That's the way they say, "Sa susunod, mag-iingat ka." Yap, they speak in codes that you have to be with them for a couple of years to know what they really mean...

But I will never have it any other way. I just love them!!!

taas kilay

2006-09-30T10:27:00.000+08:00

Matagal ko nang ibig isulat sa kapirasong papel ang mga kuro-kurong gusto kong ipahayag. Ang mga saloobin na siguradong maraming magtataas ng mga kanilang kilay...

Matagal na ang isyung ito pero sya pa rin ang bumabagabag sa simpleng utak sa loob ng aking bungo.

Edukasyon: para lang ba sa mayayaman at sa mga determinadong magkaroon ng kapirasong papel na magpapatunay na may natapos ka?

Para makamit kapirasong papel na ito, maraming protesta ang nakikita sa lansangan, Sumisigaw dahil sa di raw makatarungang pagtaas ng matrikula sa mga unibersidad at mga colegio. Para sa akin, at ito ay opinion ko lamang: paano tayo magkakaroon ng magandang edukasyon kung ang mga pasilidad sa inyong eskwelahan ay mababang kalidad. Paano mo maisasaulo ang mga pingsasabi ng iyong mga propesor kung ang upuan mo ay may 3 paa lamang? Para sa akin, kailangan din namang magtaas ng matrikula ang mga Unibersadad para matugunan ang mga pangangailangan ng mga estudyante. Ang CHED ay nagbigay ata ng kauutusan na pwedeng magtaas ang mga unibersidad na walang kahit walang consultation sa mga estudyante pero ang pagtaas ng matrikula ay naayon lamang sa inflation rate na meron tayo sa ating bansa. Sang-ayon ako doon, pero di ako sang-ayon kung mas mataas pa doon ang hinihiling. Kailangan din nmn kasi ng mga eskwelahan ang pondo para makacope-up sa mga pagtaas ng bilihin. Mas maganda na sa akin ang ganun kaysa naman mgsara ang eskwelahan dahil nalugi ito. Kung masyadong mataas pa rin ang itataas ng matrikula, kausapin ang mga admin. Kaya nga may itinalaga ang mga estudyante n mga lider para mayroon tayong boses na syang makikipag-usap sa admin. At di kayo itinalaga dyan para manguna sa mga rally pag di umaayaon ang mga sitwasyon sa mga kagustuhan nyo. Isispin nyo muna kung bakit sila ngtaas, dahil ba sa personal gain o dahil sa ekonomiya? pag meron kayong solid na katibayan na for personal gain, susuportahan ko kayo, 100%, pero pag haka-haka lamang at dahil sa bugso ng damdamin, mag-isip muna kayo bago kayo magprotesta sa lansangan. Di porke't nakuha natin ang gusto natin sa pamamagitan ng protesta nung una, eh un n at un ang gagamitin para makuha ang ating nais.

At sa mga nagrarally, wag nmn sana nilang pigilan ang mga gustong pumasok. Naranasan ko n ung di ako makapasok sa main gate dahil talagang hinharang nila ang mga mag-aaral para di kami makapasok. Huwag nmn sanang ganun. At sana wag nmn silang kutsahin kung gusto nilang pumasok. bakit, maikakatulong ba kayo kung bumagsak sila kasi nakamiss sila ng isang major quiz dahil hinarangan nyo sila para lang maiparating sa mga kinauukulan ang mga hinaing ninyo? Lahat nmn ay pwdng pag-usapan. Kaya nga bigyan tyo ng gumagalaw na laman sa loob ng bunganga na ang tawag ay dila para gamitin. Pero binigyan din tayo ng utak para mag-isip kung ano talaga ang narapat na gawin at di magpadala sa bugso ng damdamin. Kung di na tayo nag-isip, saan patutungo ang mga nilalaban natin? Sa basura. Walang ng silbi ang mga pagod na iniukol. Kaya para sa akin lang, isipin muna ng mabuti ang gagawin bago magsisigaw sa lansangan.

Pero ang ito matindi dyan. Nakuha nga natin ang kapirasong papel na ninanais at pinghirapan ng ilang taon. Pero pagkatapos, ano na? Napakasaklap isipin na maraming nagtatapos taon-taon, pero iilan lamang ang sa mga ito ang ngakakaroon ng trabaho na naayon na natapos nila. Tama bang sales lady ang natapos ay Engineering? O bagger na ang natapos ay IT? Saan na dun ung pinag-aralan natin? Nagamit ba natin ung pingsasaksak natin sa ating mga utak ng 5 o 6 na taong iginigol sa kolehiyo? mas mabuti pa sana na nagvocational tayo sapagkat kahit vocational ang natapos, siguradong may trabaho agad sapagakat skills ang ipinagmamalaki nila at di lang theory.

Nakakatawa talaga ang panahon ngayon... Nakakatawa na nakakainis!! Kya sa 2007, mag-aaral uli ako pero AB English ang kurso ko. Magtuturo na lang ako at ikucorrupt ko ang mga utak ng mga estudyante ko! Mwahahahahahha!!