Things to do before the big 3-0

36 weeks.

It will be 36 weeks before I hit the big 3-0.

36 weeks = 252 days = 6,048 hours = 362,880 minutes =21,772,800 seconds

Well, as you can see, I’m not that anxious. That big number is just around the corner, and I’m not that anxious. Yeah, I just made those approximations by bringing out my fx-570W CASIO scientific calculator to make these calculations for fun. Yeah, I’m not that anxious, nor paranoid. No, I’m not paranoid.

What the F*ck! Of course, I’m paranoid!

3-0!

In human calendar, you’re considered ancient, especially if you’re a woman and still single. But as I sit here and rock my brain on what to write, and if R-O-C-K is the correct word to use, I’m consoling myself by saying, “Hey! According to some people, 30 is the new 20!”

Ha! Denial. Still in denial! I’m turning ancient in 21,772,800 seconds! (but these figures will be lesser by the time you read this.)

Well, anyway. Last night, as I allow myself ito wallow in self-pity, I decided to list down some of the things I would like to do before that fateful day.

1. Learn to accept that the orange colour is part of the rainbow. It was not placed there to annoy the hell out of me. It was there since the beginning of time.
2. Learn to play the guitar for the nth time.
3. Hunt and save some centavos to buy my own guitar.
4. Learn to look down at the ground when walking to look for those centavos.
5. Learn how to drive a car.
6. Learn how to ride a bike.
7. Learn the difference between the two.
8. Learn how to speak Japanese. I’m sick of reading the subtitles of those animes I love to watch. (Ha! anime?! Japanese soap operas kunam ah!)
9. Learn how to speak Korean. Same reason as above.
10. Learn to write in Japanese, Korean, and Chinese to make a very special instructor proud eventhough he’s not around anymore. This is my tribute to him.
11. Learn to accept that stilletos were not made to torture the female population, nor can be used as a weapon.
12. Learn the correct spelling of STILETTOS.
13. Start to write more legibly. This will guarantee a smoother relationship between my mom and my handwriting. She always hated it.
14. Learn to accept that everything is possible but not everything that can be done is right.
15. Learn to control unnecessary reactions when you see people resembling a walking stick yet feel that they are the shit. Those reactions include uncontrollable giggles or cracking-up in a bad way which can cause collapsed lungs.
16. Learn that daydreaming can be good if you’re trying to write a literary piece but bad when you’re driving and think that you’re racing in the Grand Prix.
17. Also learn that daydreaming is bad when you’re having a conversation with someone then suddenly you spaced out, and ended saying “uh-huh” to a very ridiculous question
18. Learn to restrain self on asking if chinky-eyed people can still see when they smile. No offense but I love their eyes when they smile. Wheew! Be still my heart!
19. Learn to accept that my age is still in the calendar for most of the months except February, as well as in the LOTTO and BINGO game.
20. Proclaim to the whole world that the song entitled “500 Miles” by The Proclaimers is the best love song ever.
21. Always check if my fly is open before going out of my cave of a room to avoid further embarrassments.
22. Learn to accept the fact that there can be a very small chance that I can do these all in time but still try to be as optimistic as I possibly can.
23. Learn to accept that this list can grow longer and longer and longer as the days go by because of new rediscoveries.
24. Learn that I can use “bullets” instead of “numbers” in making lists so that people will no have idea how many things are present in those said lists.
25. Last but not the least, get rid of my weird phobias or fears which are the following

• fear of social climbers but are also acrophobic
• fear of gold-diggers who are not miners
• fear of backstabbers but fearful of blood
• fear of people who are considered snakes but are not related to Zuma, Medusa, or Valentina
• check out my bathroom stall vandalism in my profile in friendster for more of my phobias. Beware: they are written in Tagalog.