What is your f***ing problem?

Just had this client that is, how can I describe the bastard, okay, down right rude. Well he is in my book, he is fucking rude. He just finished editing his PRC blah-blah that nursing students have to submit before graduation, I think. So, he came up to the counter and said, "Ate, log-out na at paprint." So I asked what is the file name of the word document that will be printed. I was able to locate it and printed it. It turned out that the fucking logo of his school was beyond the allowed margin of the printer. So, I tried to edit it, and he is always making this annoying noise with his tongue, that indicates he is getting impatient.

And then he whispered (but its not a whisper to me,mind you, cause I can hear it clearly) to his companion, "Bakit ito pwede?", then pointing to the already printed documents. I ignored it and tried to continue editing his document. He then slammed his file folder loudly and that made me see red.

"Sorry sir, kasi ung printer po nmin may sariling default margin." I answered ever politely, but inside I want to slam his head on the counter. Then I continued editing it, racking my head how to edit his cursed document. I thought it will never get worse, but it did. Well, that little bastard looks down on us, like were beneath him then he again said, "Ibaba mo na lang ito."

"Sir, ano po un?"he didn't answer so I repeated my question, "Ano ulit un, ADING?" I asked, with matching raised right eyebrow.

Then he answered, "Pakibaba na lang po ito, Ate."

There goes the "ATE" that I expect to hear from younger people. I really expect the younger generation, even from the older generation to be respectful to everyone , even if they are older. We will learn to be respectful from the generation before us, if they, themselves, are respectful.

I know I was being unreasonable and sensitive about our work as "just the people who are working in a computer shop". I don't want to flaunt to other people's faces that I am the co- owner of this shop, but sometimes people respects you when they you know you have money. But I rarely give in to the urge to be boastful so I just bit my retort, ad let them think I'm an employee. Let them swallow their boastfulness if they will learn the truth, in the right time. We serve people, but we are not slaves.

Yes, I know that customer is always right. But there are times that they are wrong. Like when they keep on insisting that they know what they are doing, even if it is clear as a sun shinny say that they are doing things the wrong way. We often offer our assistance but we are sometimes are shot down. So, we let them do what they want, and don't assist them once they refused our help. In the end, they are irritated because they cannot get the result they want. Then they complain to us that our computer doesn't work. That's when we come in and slap on their faces where they went wrong. But we do that subtly. We do the task as fast as we could so that they cannot follow what we are doing and let them figure it out how we did it by themselves. We don't give them the technique or procedure if they act like they don't fart like other people. They are more knowledgeable than us, right? I am aware that we don't know everything, but don't treat us as if we don't know what we are doing, that we are imbeciles in our line of work. Fuck them if they will do that! Who cares about them anyway? If they act they are superior than others, they'll always be losers in my Book of the Damned.

On the other hand, we don't have to look down on people who have jobs that are not that high earning. Take note, without them, our country will not function. Who will be responsible for the food we eat? Who will be the one to make sure that our roofs will not be blown by strong winds? Who will make sure that our establishment will be well guarded? Who will be the one who will make sure that the lobby of our buildings will be sparkling clean? Who will be the one who will make sure that our rest rooms will not stink as if skunks just had a fucking good time? Who will be the one who will make sure that we will be on time for our appointment by driving? They are the people with blue-collared jobs. Whether we admit it or not, they are the backbone of our economy. We may have the brains but we need muscles to get the work done.

Back to that fucking twit. I know he was getting impatient. But I did my best to edit his file. He then said that, "Di bale na lang. Di na ako magpapaprint. Magkano po? Di ko na po kukunin ung unang naprint." The fucking fuck? I was seeing blood red but I did my very best to stay calm. I keep on chanting, "Violence is not the answer. Violence is not the answer. Violence is not the answer. Violence is not the answer." So we just charged him with just the computer rentals and let him loose. I continued to edit his document and I got what he wants. He was impatient so he was forced to find a computer shop that will tolerate his attitude. If he waited for a minute, he will not have to find another computer shop. tsk! Tsk! Tsk! People these days...

Choices...

Choices...

Every day we make them. Either to sleep for five minutes more or to get up immediately after the alarm clock screamed its fucking head off. To help your mom in making her workload lighter or, continue to be the bane of her existence. Either to walk away or not to walk away from a relationship that’s been falling apart since day one. Either to cry every time because we regret the choice we made, or to make the best out of it and go on with life.

When we choose the wrong choice, we blame it to someone. It’s either your parents were fucked up in the head and never taught you anything about life, or you never got the chance to better than what you are now. Fuck that! You saw what your parents did and they are living examples of what life can be if you follow their examples. It’s true that you are your father’s son, or mother's daughter, but still you have the brains that you can use to your advantage. You always have the choice to what life you want to live. If you made a mistake in the choice you made, suck it up. Pull yourself up and go on with life because you are only one that you can rely upon, the only one that who can help you. But then you also have the choice to sulk in one corner of the world and watch your life pass you by and in the end, live with so many what-if’s.

It’s true that we are humans; tend to make so many mistakes, tend to be weak. But don’t make that your fucking reason every time you fall down. We are also human who can make the best out of the foulest situation we are in. We are also human that have the wits to get up and go on. We are allowed to make mistakes so that we can learn from them. We are allowed to make mistakes to grow to be what we are meant to be. We are allowed to make mistakes to know our capabilities and to strengthen our weaknesses. But to make the same mistakes over and over and over again is just plain stupid.

I made a lot of mistakes; I have my fair share of scars. There are times that I tend to be resilient as I can, bend to extend I can feel my core crumble apart, sacrifice everything I can give that in the end there’s nothing left. I feel what I have is an empty shell. But still, I made those choices. Do I regret it? No, I don’t. Hell! If I regret every wrong choice I made, I’d be wallowing in self-pity. Instead, I made those wrong choices work my way and in the end, I realized that I made the right decision. If I choose the different one, then I’m not what I’m now. And I like what I am, thank you very much. Well, there are also perks of being an eccentric, opinionated geek that has an unusual perceptive of things around her…

We make choices everyday and we should be prepared of what they may bring. Every choice has its pleasant results and sometimes has it doesn't end up like we thought it would be. But either way, be prepared for the consequences they throw your way. Because that is life. It isn't fair, but it is most beautiful thing we can have. Why? Because we can experience anything from it. We may emerge from it, battered and bruised, but wiser. Well, that is if you have a OPTIMISTIC yet REALISTIC point of view. If you don't, then goodluck. You need that alot to survive your world of self-pity.

What is what...

What is self preservation? Below is something what our beloved Wikipedia said about self preservation:

" Self preservation
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Self preservation is part of an animal's instinct that demands that the organism survives. Pain and fear are parts of this mechanism. Pain causes discomfort so that the organism is inclined to stop the pain. Fear causes the organism to seek safety and may cause a release of adrenaline which has the affect of increased strength and heightened senses such as hearing, smell, and sight.

Self preservation and morality
Many moral thinkers have made the human urge of self-preservation a foundation of their moral or political systems. Especially in the brand of social contract theory associated with Thomas Hobbes and John Locke, it is assumed that people form societies in order to better preserve themselves. This can be true of the average person under extreme circumstances such as starvation. In society, if one doesn't have the money to buy food, one might steal something to eat. This aspect could be
self-preservation because what is happening isn't socially acceptable but is understood because of the need to feed. "

Yeah. As if I understood that. For me self preservation is the instinct to save oneself. Actually not the self SELF, but the self I'm talking about is the soul, the spirit, the one that is left to roam around when we go "bye-bye, world".

As a sarcastic and cynical person, I tend to question the actions done by my "fellow human beings". I seem to have a feeling that people are doing "good" deeds just because it is the right thing to do. They do it just to have brownie points from the One above, so that they will have a place in the "ever after" when they die. They do these things, pretending to help their fellow human beings", but in the back of their minds: "Yes! another brownie point! For sure, I'll go to Heaven when I die!"

Well, people, that is what I call PRIDE. Remember, Pride is one of the Seven Deadly Sins. Okay here the list:

Lust (Fornication, Perversion)

Lust is usually thought of as involving obsessive or excessive thoughts or desires of a sexual nature. Unfulfilled lusts sometimes lead to sexual or sociological compulsions and/or transgressions including (but obviously not limited to) sexual addiction, homosexuality, adultery, bestiality, and rape. Dante's criterion was "excessive love of others," which therefore rendered love and devotion to God as secondary. However, lust and love are two different things; while a genuine, selfless love can represent the highest degree of development and feeling of community with others in a human relationship, Lust can be described as the excessive desire for sexual release. The other person can be therefore seen as a "means to an end" for the fulfillment of the subject's desires, and becomes thus objectified in the process. In Purgatorio, the penitent walks within flames to purge himself of lustful/sexual thoughts.

Gluttony (Overindulgence, Waste)

Modern views identify Gluttony with an overindulgence of food and drink, though in the past any form of thoughtless excess could fall within the definition of this sin. Marked by unreasonable or unnecessary excess of consumption, Gluttony could also include certain forms of destructive behavior, especially for sport, or for its own sake. Substance abuse or binge drinking can be seen as examples of gluttony therefore, so it could be safely said that Gluttony is the overindulgence in any one thing. The penitents in the Purgatorio were forced to stand between two trees, unable to reach or eat the fruit hanging from either, and were thus described as having a starved appearance.

Sloth (Laziness, Sadness, Apathy)

More than other sins, the definition of Sloth has changed considerably since its original inclusion among the seven deadly sins. It had been in the early years of Christianity characterized by what modern writers would now describe as apathy, depression, and joylessness — the last being viewed as being a refusal to enjoy the goodness of God and the world He created. Originally, its place was fulfilled by two other aspects, Acedia and Sadness. The former described a spiritual apathy that affected the faithful by discouraging them from their religious work. Sadness (tristitia in Latin) described a feeling of dissatisfaction or discontent, which caused unhappiness with one's current situation. When St. Thomas Aquinas selected Acedia for his list, he described it as an "uneasiness of the mind," being a progenitor for lesser sins such as restlessness and instability. Dante refined this definition further, describing Sloth as being the "failure to love God with all one's heart, all one's mind and all one's soul." He also described it as the middle sin, and as such was the only sin characterised by an absence or insufficiency of love. In his Purgatorio, the slothful penitents were made to run continuously at top speed.

The modern view of the vice, as highlighted by its contrary virtue zeal/diligence, is that it represents the failure to utilize one's talents and gifts. For example, a student who does not work beyond what is required (and thus fails to achieve his or her full potential) could be labelled 'slothful'.

Current interpretations are therefore much less stringent and comprehensive than they were in medieval times, and portray Sloth as being more simply a sin of laziness, of an unwillingness to act, an unwillingness to care (rather than a failure to love God and His works). For this reason Sloth is now often seen as being considerably less serious than the other sins.

Greed (Covetousness, Treachery)

Greed is, like Lust and Gluttony, a sin of excess. However, Greed (as seen by the Church) applied to the acquisition of wealth in particular. Thomas Aquinas wrote that Greed was "a sin against God, just as all mortal sins, in as much as man condemns things eternal for the sake of temporal things." In Dante's Purgatory, the penitents were bound and laid face down on the ground for having concentrated too much on earthly thoughts. "Avarice" is more of a blanket term that can describe many other examples of sinful behavior. These include disloyalty, deliberate betrayal, or treason, especially for personal gain, for example through bribery. Scavenging and hoarding of materials or objects, theft and robbery, especially by means of violence, trickery, or manipulation of authority are all actions that may be inspired by greed. Such misdeeds can include Simony, where one profits from soliciting goods within the actual confines of a church.

Wrath (Anger, Hatred, Rage, Assault, Violence, Prejudice, Discrimination)

Wrath may be described as inordinate and uncontrolled feelings of hatred and anger. These feelings can manifest as vehement denial of the truth, both to others and in the form of self-denial, impatience with the procedure of law, and the desire to seek revenge outside of the workings of the justice system (such as engaging in vigilantism) and generally wishing to do evil or harm to others. The transgressions borne of vengence are among the most serious, including murder, assault, and in extreme cases, genocide. (See Crimes against humanity.) Wrath is the only sin not necessarily associated with selfishness or self interest (although one can of course be wrathful for selfish reasons, such as jealousy). Dante described vengence as "love of justice perverted to revenge and spite". The wrathful in his Purgatorio were enveloped in blinding smoke.

Envy (Jealousy, Malice)

Like Greed, Envy is characterized by an insatiable desire; they differ, however, for two main reasons: First, Greed is largely associated with material goods, whereas Envy may apply more generally. Second, those who commit the sin of Envy desire something that someone else has which they perceive themselves as lacking. Dante defined this as "love of one's own good perverted to a desire to deprive other men of theirs." In Dante's Purgatory, the punishment for the envious is to have their eyes sewn shut with wire, because they have gained sinful pleasure from seeing others brought lowly.

Pride (Vanity, Arrogance, Narcissism)

In almost every list Pride is considered the original and most serious of the seven deadly sins, and indeed the ultimate source from which the others arise. It is identified as a desire to be more important or attractive than others, failing to give compliments to others though they may be deserving of them, and excessive love of self (especially holding self out of proper position toward God). Dante's definition was "love of self perverted to hatred and contempt for one's neighbor." In Jacob Bidermann's medieval miracle play, Cenodoxus, Pride is the deadliest of all the sins and leads directly to the damnation of the famed Doctor of Paris, Cenodoxus. In perhaps the most famous example, the story of Lucifer, Pride was what caused his Fall from Heaven, and his resultant transformation into Satan. Vanity and Narcissism are prime examples of this Sin. In the Divine Comedy, the penitent were forced to walk with stone slabs bearing down on their backs in order to induce feelings of humility.

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Now, you see, that is pride. We love ourselves that we are so afraid to go the Great Fire. I'm not a hypocrite. In times, I am, but I will not justify my actions, because... never mind... Where am I? I was saying that I'm not a hypocrite because I am guilty as most of the people around us. Most of all, I'm guilty of Wrath all the time. Right now, I am. And sometimes Sloth and Gluttony. I'm not sure if there is a life after death but I am well aware that I don't know where I will go when I die. It is really frightening to think that i may go down, down, down in that Great Fire of Misery and Eternal Punishment. But if that is will of God, be it. But it will not deter me from doing what is right. I don't really care right now if I will be rewarded with brownie points or not. Because if I keep on thinking of it, the good deed is as well be considered a sin. So, just do what is right because it is the right thing to do and not because we are expecting to be saved in the end. If we do good deeds and expected to be rewarded in the end, we are no better than those Pharisees and Scribes that persecuted Jesus.

I know, I sound like I'm preaching, but I am not. This is my opinion, my own thoughts, my own feelings. If you agree with it, good. If you don't agree with it, better. Let's have discussion, not an argument. I'm prepared to hear you out, but you should be also open-minded to my opinions because they are, at times, unconventional. I guess I'm feed up from what people do especially, ahem, those big fishes that announce all what they have done, on air, in exchange of high ratings.